Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

[Former-Member]

hi @Former-Member your most welcome to join in, your not butting into anythign and i appreciate your thoughts.

as im going through a suicidal program it goes for 2 months and the program is actaully free so im not having to worry about payments as yet.

ive got a health care plan already and have started to use it, i think ive only got 4 sessions left this year hopefully i can get more otherwise its going to be very very expensive and itll go from going weekly to going like once a month  and i also see a psychiatrist for medication

[Former-Member]

hello @Former-Member

thank you for replying.

you may be able to have your plan extended from 6 to 10 if you are in need of more.

check with your gp before paying anything.

if you have a health care card they may come to an agreement re the gap amount when that time comes.

Good that you have a psychiatrist.

Be assertive, remember about you not them,it is your health.

keep writing xxxx love your user name

[Former-Member]

Ive already done 6 within the year so ive only got 4 left and it hasnt been a year since i renewed it so i dont think i can get anymore than 4. But ill check in with my gp again when the program is nearly finished
Thanks it use to be scared01 but ive adapted thw name little caterpillar so had it changed

[CheerBear]

Hey @Former-Member - just popping past to say that I hope your afternoon picked up a little (or a lot but hopefully you know what I mean).

[Former-Member]

no i feel worse i was just talking to a helpline and it really didnt work and now im more confused and i dont know what to do, im completely lost

i feel so dull and empty

@CheerBear@Shaz51@Former-Member@CherryBomb

[Shaz51]

soory you feel  a bit more confused my @Former-Member

tell me about it if you want to xx

[Former-Member]

oooh @Shaz51 i just want to cry, im so frustrated and upset its not helping me at all

i had that stupid therpay session today which i think was pointless and i was frustrated in their and it was making me more upset and still she kept pushing and going back to the same stupid thing that ive said oh only 5 or 6 times what i think and she still want more and i dont have the answers

she keeps asking me about my realtionships and freindships and why i think they are the way they are.

we went through very vaguley the other day when i was having very serious suicdal thoughts and was going to go to hospital and that is a very big thing for me considering its another trigger spot for me so me to even consider going there it was serious and it wasnt scaring me those thoughts so i jumped onto a helpline and got help and its taken me ages to recover from that and now today she keeps asking me why im'sitting on the fence' and not taking the step foward and whats holding me back and wy dont i want my mother invovled and whats holding me back from telling her everything and ive given her the answers so many times in the past 3 sessions im starting to feel like a parrot! and its frustrating me and it kepp makeing me confused cause i dont kow what more there is and where i find the answers and she said shes not giving me the answers cause she doesnt have them and i ahve figure them out

[CheerBear]

😞 sorry to hear little bug. Therapy can be really really hard sometimes @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

hello @Former-Member @Shaz51

it sounds as though you have been asked to repeat distressing parts of your life too many times.

This counsellor is she a psychologist?

You are sounding overwhelmed and if you have been experiencing very serious suicidal thoughts, drained and at a very low point.

I dont think that she is realising how drained you are.

She should not be telling you that you are sitting on a fence. clearly you are blocking something for a reason.

do you feel safe now?

if you are just tired, a warm cup of herbal or caffeine free tea might help settle you.

as silly as it sounds, something warm to cuddle, soft teddy bear, pet

can you listen to any soothing music?

dont try to think about stuff any more just slow your breathing down. i remember reading earlier where you were helping someone else with grounding exercises. that was brilliant. you were very good. i think that you dont recognise your own strengths. that sounds familiar. where have i heard that before? oh yes a comment made to me. see we are similar.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member

yes it can be very confusing when they want you to explore you feeling more

my husband has trouble with people and work , he won`t speak out -- so the therpay session was about trying to get him to speak out

which is soo hard for him to do

hugs for now @Former-Member, and put it aside tonight and doing something you enjoy