Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

[Pepsimax]

@Former-Member how long have you been seeing her for

[Former-Member]

I started seeing a counsellor in January then changed counsellors to another one then i got refferred to the susicide prevention program so now i see this counsellor. Ive seeen this one three times now amd get to see her for two months so i have 6 sessions left to get the sh and suicidal thoughts to reduce and controlled and then i go back to the counsellor that refferred me or i can go through another counsellor again.
Theres been alot of moving around @Pepsimax

[Pepsimax]

@Former-Member you're still getting to know this person how is it with the other one

[Former-Member]

I changed originally to another counsellor for a different form of therapy as the one i was using wasnt working and the one that just refferred me i only went to her once before i started seeing this new counsellor @Pepsimax

[Former-Member]

And then once im finished the program i change to another counsellor again @Pepsimax

[Pepsimax]

@Former-Member this is what I think you are still getting to know these women so keep plugging away I saw my psychologist for years I don't see her regularly now but can still ring her and I do sometimes have you seen therapists before or is this new to you

[Former-Member]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling embarrased from what happened in session today @Former-Member Please know that you are not silly or stupid, that's not what we see in you here on the forums. I can see where you are coming from but would also like to encourage you to be a honest as you can with your therapist. It's important for you to use that time for you, it's your session, your therapy goals your trying to achieve. 

I know what you mean @Former-Member I've had therapy sessions before and had my therapist say soemthing very similar to me. It wasn't because I felt happy about it but was more of a default of how I coped and managed feeling that way. It wasn't something I could change over night but over time it was something I began to take more notice of and begin to understand why I acted that way. 

This doesn't need to be something you need to answer now but I wonder what your experience is of you smiling around the discussion of your depression? Perhaps that's something you could open up the next session with? Gives yourself an opportunity to voice the experience and potentailly learn from it. Therapy can be tough, no question there, but the benefits can be so rewarding in the long run. Has been my experience anyway  

[Former-Member]

hello @Former-Member @Pepsimax

I hope you dont mind me butting in to your conversation.

I have had clinical depression for a long long time at various levels of discomfort depending upon what life is deciding to add onto my plate.

I have just the other day come out of hospital with the diagnosis - severe chronic major depressive disorder recorded on paperwork.

That is for now.

I tend not to focus on the diagnosis these days as i know myself better than anyone.

You have changed counsellors several times in a short period of time. No wonder you are feeling uncomfortable, reacting with unusual facial expressions.

There is no right or wrong answer or response in therapy dealing with the mind.

You need to feel that you are in a safe environment to discuss your very private thoughts safely.

Your responses need to be treated with respect and in a gentle way.

You are not freaky, or responding incorrectly.

 Importantly you are trying to help yourself and need to feel comfortable to be able to do that.

I have sessions with a psychotherapist and everytime I do not understand his response or reaction to a comment that I have made I let him know. I question everything. He is there to help me not me there to worry about how he is affected. Yes I challenge him. He sees the challenges as progress and we work through the questions together.

Please do not put yourself down, name calling.

You are still a human being aside from your mental health. You have every right to be treated with respect no different to someone without mental health issues.

If you continue to feel uncomfortable with the counsellor or that they are not understanding you or helping you ask your gp to be referred to someone else.

It can take time to find the right match between therapist and patient. Also psychologist or psychiatrist. health plans are available through medicare and referrals from your gp.

keep going and keep on writing on here to vent.

good luck

[Former-Member]

thanks @Pepsimax after 2 months i wont be seeing this anymore i dont think as the prgram finishes then i go back to the new one i had before for one session.

[Former-Member]

it was very embarrassing @Former-Member maybe it was the way she said it, it was abit abrupt as if she thought it was funny or if i wasnt taking it seriously, which i was and i could feel myself smiling but i couldnt stop it i dont know what it was. i was very much struggling through the whole session though and it was hard and thhis is really only the start, i havent gotten to exposure therapy or anything yet nor have i talked about either of the events im still talking about why i SH which is what the program is and famiy relationships and thats hard enough already