Rejection comes in many forms to most, if not all, of us. As a person who has direct personal experience with depression, life-limiting illness and suicide, I find I don't deal well with rejection. How do others cope?

I recently left the town I had been living in for a year in the hopes of setting out on a different path while my health was comparatively good. I have spent five years under the threat of varying "use-by" dates. The medical professions attitudes and medications had left me banging on suicides door yet again. I decided I wanted to take control of my health and my future. My psychiatrist thought it was great, empowering, strong and courageous of me. So I packed the car with nearly everything I own and put my craft things and summer clothes in storage and set off. 

I have been turned down by one agent because their "formula" says I can only afford to pay $160/week in rent despite the fact I have never paid such a low rent in the six years and I've NEVER missed a rent payment in all that time. Instantly I feel devastated and rejected.

I decide I will try another town. I am quickly chewing through my little bit of savings each night I stay in a cabin or basic airbnb. Petrol seems to be disappearing through the fuel tank faster than I can fill it up. More money out of the savings.

I get to another town. I post on the local Fb page that I am looking for work and get several messages. I tell them I am very keen but have to find a home first. I apply for a job that I have a lot of skills and experience to do well. Within six hours, without a word being exchanged, I get a thanks but no thanks email. More rejection.

I finally get to inspect a property I applied for five weeks ago. I think it will be great. The agent says she will know process my application  I explain that it is costing me a lot of money to wait and she says she will try to get to it. That was yesterday morning. I sent a friendly, slightly-nagging text today and get no reply. All I can think about is what will I do if this application fails too. 

I just don't know how many times I can fall down and get back up again. I have experienced childhood neglect, childhood sexual abuse, rape, a child taken for adoption, domestic abuse, my kids rejecting me when I got sick and death dates from doctors. Despite all of that and because of all of that, I still keep trying to find my safe "home". I am not adding these details in a search for sympathy. Sympathy is something I detest. It was just to show that I have been through some stuff. I have a very dear friend who says she doesn't understand why I keep fighting to stay alive. I know it would be so easy to give in to my body's desire to die, but I don't want to. 

How do I handle so much rejection? How do I handle another "No" without giving in? How do you do it?