Lived Experience Forum

[Shakeelah25]

@outlander Sorry to hear about your situation. That is so rough and sounds like what my parents would do as well actually..It absolutely sucks. I can see you are in a bind but maybe the only viable option is to wait it out and play your cards right?? Keep thinking of ways you can eventually branch out and do what is important to you. And continue to vent it out in any form (talking, writing, arts, messaging etc)

[Ngaio-ROP]

That's really tough @outlander I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that. And you're absolutely right, this stuff with family is hard and complicated. I'm sure if there were easy answers you would have found them a long time ago.

I really hope you get to be just you and your Pop soon. It sounds like your mum may have some stuff of her own going on and it's not ok for her to run roughshod over you but I also completely understand that there's not a huge amount you can do about it.

I also agree that it's really easy for me to make suggestions but you have to live it. I jsut hope you keep getting stronger and stay connected to the support you get here.

Try not to feel upset or frantic about 'when' a partner might come along. See what happens. It sounds like the ideal time might be when you're a bit freeer from your mum. What do you think?

[Ngaio-ROP]

Beautifully put @Shakeelah25

[lovemyboys]

Hi
I have had a look at your site and forums and I have a couple of questions. I have two teenagers and a 23 year old and i think my oldest may benefit from the support forums

[Ngaio-ROP]

That's wonderful @lovemyboys Do you think he would be receptive to your suggestion?

[outlander]

ive worked out why my mother is so hositile towards me. Its because Im a mistake. She was 17 or 18 when she had me and I ruined her great life of partying, going out with friends, her partner (my so called father who I dont see) left. And she blames it all on me so I cop the brunt of everything.
There is literally nothing I can to about anything. As I said im stuck in this situation and I can only hope itll change for me.

I dont even know how to meet people really because I dont feel like I fit in with people my age nor with older people. Somewhere in the middle but Im not really into dating people a heap of years older than me. So I dont know when a parnter will come along because I dont really like dating sites and Im isolated otherwise

@Ngaio-ROP@Shakeelah25

[Shakeelah25]

I think its important to talk about changes in terms of values and having your own opinions apart from your parents or guardians. Everything changed for me over 2 years ago in my life. I changed a lot and I started wearing clothing that fit me closer, switching from pads to tampons, wearing thongs from La Senza etc (sorry for all that personal info) but I say because although these may seem very small and not imortant, they were major changes for me because I always did what I was told to. 

I didn't know I was allowed to have an opinion and make a choice that was different from what I taught...It's not an act of rebellion. Its just me growing up a bit..Does this make sense?

[MDT]

hey so i have read over the previous set of commets and feel like i have stumbled on a goldmine of information about sex, relationships and all that it entails.
So my questiom is along the lines of what you've said about later intimacy in life being better for longevity of relationships/satisfaction.
I see a lot of people around me hooking up, getting laid and starting relationships.
I used to have a very strict religious belief that i now don't have. I was basically taught that sec is for marriage - no compromises.
I feel like this experience has had an overwhelmingly negative impact on my sense of self worth in terms of intimacy. Case in point, i went to a uni event a few weeks back and saw a girl i met previously. She was super friendly and hugged me then did that thing girls do where they place out their cheek haha. So i just did kiss her lightly on the cheek but i was super awkward about it. I brushed it off by joking i had to bend down cause i was so tall. BUT here's the thing... has my religious experience done permanent damage in that regard? i sincerely believe it has..
Currently I am talking to a girl who is also a virgin and i think we might see what happens in order to discover what we both like etc.
Is it a wise idea?

[Shakeelah25]

@outlander. I really would like to emphasise to you that you that perhaps you were a surprise to your mom but you were definitely NOT. a mistake.

[Shakeelah25]

@outlander you made me smile when I read your responses to my post and it has made my night, along with @Ngaio-ROP. By you doing that for me, you had a purpose logging in tonight. This is my first time on here too so its been a good experience so far thanks to you guys ❤️ xoxo