Lived Experience Forum

[Cocoloco]

My last hospitalisation the doctor forced eye contact. She said I was ashamed. Autistics can't do eye contact and my eyes hurt from the light. 

she then called me infantile. I was scared. Need help but don't want abuse. It made me cry and she didn't care. I am abused by many. 

I am acutely suicidal. I am taking precautions. My case manager? type lady will not call me.

dont know if I can trust her. She and others don't care and cancel appointments. Just got out of a dv relationship where he really hurt me then he  ended his life.I saw him and it was terrible. 

I feel sorry for him. I feel like it's my fault because I am autistic. I asked family support for help but too busy the coordination at the time yelled at me. I get sent in circles. I called the police and they didn't care. I told mental health and no. 

I think I tried. I told him to see a psychologist and psychiatrist. He hurt me though and others have too. 

hard to keep going. Asked to write an article but it's triggering but want to help other disabled women. I feel lost and want to get on track

my grandparents are not here anymore and support is lacking. Need help reading others and the world. I am so afraid and feel no one cares. Don't want to be here as life is so hard. 

I am in pain as physically have issues. Called complex. I just want to be happy and trying hard . 

any advice or treatments for ptsd and complex ptsd? I am really not coping

[Jupiter]

Hey @Cocoloco 

I can hear its been a really challenging time for you. Its great you are still trying and are wanting to get back on track. I'm sure other members will jump in and offer support soon. In the meantime I wanted to let you know that if the suicidal thoughts are becoming difficult to manage, you can reach out for further support to the following helplines:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

[Zed1]

HI @Cocoloco 

I myself have been diagnoised with Complex PTSD. It is a tricky one to navigate at the best of times let alone when we are feeling scared and alone.

If i may just suggest some coping strategies i use for myself.

I am an avid reader and i always make sure to keep a book close by that is grounding. I try and avoid Fiction and stick to books where i am uplifted or educated on how my mind is working at this time. I am currently reading an Edward Debono book called "how to have a beautiful mind".

I enjoy music and also write in a journal and often reflect on my past enteries. I make a note each week to write 5 positive things each week so on days i am not feeling great i am reminded of the 5 positive things i noted down.

When feeling scared i try to find objects that remind me i am safe, these could often be a small gift i have been given in the past or photo's i have taken in my phone of things to remind me i am safe.

Finally breathing was my biggest struggle not knowing how much it can actually help. 5 deep breaths is now how i can focus my mind during these times.

I understand not all will help but i just thought i would share small things that get me through.

You have been through a lot in a short amount of time and it is amazing you have reached out with honesty.

That is a really good trait to hold during these times.

Reaching out and using the resources available such as online services and phone communication can be beneficial if you are struggling with your usual coping techniques. 

[Cocoloco]

Hi. Thankyou. Attention span has been shit. I loved reading. Trying to read the body keeps the score. 

I am an avid writer. I love writing. I am due to post an article. I want to thank you for the reminders about gratitude. It is awesome. Music is good. 

i try to. Phone support not helping this week. Bad luck maybe. Don't know. Scared of another bill I'd say wrong thing! Thank you again it does help. People often forget things or need to try new things. 

[Appleblossom]

Hello again @Cocoloco 

That book is on my list to read.  He was a good sense of trauma in relation to MH, rather than just seeing MH Dx as a bunch of categories of pathology.

In the old days I read similar books with a body based focus called bioenergetics and primal therapy etc. 

I  have also had to deal with real suicide in people around me.  There are some groups that give support after suicide or various Bereavement support.  It is not an easy path.  Keep looking and dont give up.

I not always impressed with people in the MH system.  There are a few who care and a lot of hitch hikers.  Its worse than hitch hiking cos the public and govt says they are spending the money, but some take the money and do not have accountability for real or effective service delivery.

Take Care and Stay Safe

Covid Safe and MH Safe