I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I had to call for help but it didn’t help. @Jynx 

Im hesitant to talk for fear. 

With the risk of misinterpreting again. I felt like you were dismissing me. I didn’t see it as a boundary but as harsh truths. I do keep rereading it though. 

Im just waiting to see if tyme jumps on or not. I think we may have already talked though. 

I am going to take time away though. Not sure about deleting my account. Not sure how long. Maybe a week, maybe longer. It’s ok I know there will be no support even though now is when I need it the most. Hardly anyone will notice. While it hurts and I don’t want to it’s for the best for everyone. 

[AuntGlow]

Hey @Captain24, 

I am reading along too. ☺️

I understand why you're feeling hesitant to talk, but as always, we are here to guide, moderate, and support. Know that all of these things exist simultaneously on our end. 

I can see you have been reflecting, which is amazing to read (this stuff is tough and receiving a boundary is vulnerable!). I know you said earlier that you weren't sure what your psych would say, but I would love it if you could explore journaling about how you're feeling? 

I completely understand why it feels like we don't want you here, but we do. And we will notice if you aren't here - we always notice when our community shifts and changes. Whether it feels this way or not right now, we do value you. You have made so much progress in the last couple of months, it's been so wonderful to witness. You're allowed to have moments where you don't get it 'right', you're human! If you need some time to process and take a step away, know that we will be here when you get back. 💛

[Captain24]

Thanks for everything @AuntGlow. I have appreciated all you have done for me. 

Goodbye

[Captain24]

@Jynx 

I know you aren’t going to respond to my last post. But I just wanted to say good bye and sorry I have hurt you and sorry for me being me. 

Thanks for everything. 

[ArraDreaming]

Captain, I think, friend to friend, it might be time to switch off the night pal.
I say this cause I care and Im reading just seeing this loop. I can barely see you down there in the hole you are digging for yourself and I cant watch this continue. Please take a break even if it just for tonight mate, I say this from a place of care. You are VERY well supported here Cap and people try remarkably hard day in day out to help you, so please consider taking a break so you can reset. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 

---

@Captain24 wrote:

While it hurts and I don’t want to it’s for the best for everyone. 

---

You have just said yourself you don't want to leave. But if you do, we'd miss you terribly. If you stayed, or if you came back, it'll make us all pretty happy I think.

Also, I will gently say again that you have not hurt my feelings. Please don't torture yourself with guilt over something that simply isn't true. 

Do what you need to do, but know that your leaving is not 'best' for anyone, not from where I'm sitting. Look after yourself please hun 💜🤞

[AuntGlow]

We're still here for you. @Captain24 

Looking forward to chatting soon. 💛

[Captain24]

Thanks @AuntGlow but I’ve ruined everything. 

Bye

[AuntGlow]

You haven't ruined anything at all @Captain24! I know it must feel like you have, but I promise you haven't. 

When you're feeling more ready, let's look at some practical things we can do to make sure you're feeling supported. 

Until then, it's more than okay to take a break. We will be here when you get back. 💛

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , thought i'd pop in to 'see' you. Kids are asleep - at last! I know it's late. Hope you're okay. Bit chilly, but we'll survive.

Look after yourself till we catch up again.

Feel free to share your plans for tomorrow, Accountabilyt Bud, and I'll read it when I get to it.

Ciao!