Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

I do hope you get to have that alone time @Starta It must be so frustrating to have that constant noise and action around you. I too love being on my own and get anxious around too many people too often. Hoping also that when you see your pdoc again they can help you with another mood stabiliser that helps without the side effects.

Would love to hear all about your walk on your own if you can do tht today. 

Happy New Year also - hoping this is a better year for you Hon 

[Former-Member]

Good morning dear @Starta and hi @Zoe7

Thank you for always listening, for the new year wishes and for sending the photos.  Wow the dust storm looks eeri.  

Sorry to hear the mood stabilisers resulted in some unwelcome reactions, most unfortunate because I thought you were starting to feel reasonably okay until then.  Still I'm sure they have other options to try, and lets hope the next option works and has little to no side effects.

Of course you want to go home ... who wouldnt.  Its been such a long hard road for you Starta.  But you're nearly there, please percevere and stick with it a little longer.  I feel confident it will be worth your mighty efforts.

Thats a shame your room is right by  the comfy lounge chairs.  It wouldnt allow for much quiet time I expect.  Any chance of a move to somewhere quieter?  If you're still there for a couple more weeks, it could be worth asking about.  I know what you mean about constant noise and chatter ... I cannot handle it either.  Try to practice your mindfulness and allow the noise and chatter to flow around and past you, rather than through you.  Do some of those lovely fantasies you're so good at.

I hope you managed to get out for that walk you were wanting, even though it was to be with one of the Flourish workers. If you explain you need quiet alone time, I feel sure the flourish person would give you a bit of space.  They can be with you, but be non intrusive at the same time.  I feel sure they would understand and respect your need for a private sanctuary, even if only for a short time. I recall you saying the flourish people are, on the whole, very kind.  

I hope you psych apts yesterday went well and perhaps you have more today?  I trust it will all go as well as possible.  No matter how hard this is for you right now Starta, compared to the many hardships you've endured in your lifetime, this must seem like easy street in comparison.  You can do this and you will get through the other side a far stronger and capable person.

Love and hugs to you dear lady .. my friend (I hope)

Sherry 💕🤗

[Former-Member]

Hi dear @Starta.

Sorry I didnt check in with you yesterday.  It was not a good day for me, so I hope your day was better than mine was. Today was a little better for me though.  Definitely on the improve.

I will make this quick as I'm heading off to bed now.  I desperately need a half decent sleep, and I'm optimistic tonight will be the night I might get that sleep.  Certainly I'm tired enough.

How did your most recent psychiatrist apt go?  I am aware that you will be doing some exposure therapy work on Monday.  I have done exposure therapy myself, and know how hard it can be.  Just remember to have a safe place in mind that you can take yourself off to in your imagination.  It helps when thoughts, memories and feelings get too hard. 
Remember to breathe and use your thought processes to take you to that safe place. Also keep in mind that you will be supported while in the supermarket ... the Flourish workers will be there to ensure you're safety.  You will be safe and you will be okay.  I expect the plan will be to go a few times? In time, this therapy trains the brain to accept that there really is no need to feel afraid of going to the supermarket, or indeed any other place that you currently fear going to.

Sorry to read that some people at the hospital who you got to know, are leaving today and Monday.  I'm disappointed for you about that, but I feel sure there will be others who will take their place. Maybe even some whose company you enjoy equally as much or more.  Your time there is also counting down Starta.  What is it now, only 2 weeks remaining?

Okay, so its bed time for me now.  Last I heard, you had been sleeping reasonably well.  I envy you that Starta.  I'm sure it would make a big difference overall in your ability to cope with all that you're going through there at the hospital. Adequate good quality sleep is so important.

I will call in to say hi again tomorrow.

Sherry 💜🤗💕

[Former-Member]

Good morning dear @Starta

Just letting you know that I am thinking of you today as you go through your exposure therapy session at the supermarket.

I believe in you Starta, I know you can do this.  I know you are doing all that you can to give yourself your life back.  This is just one more step towards a life of normality and a life of freedom.  Stay strong, and know I am here holding your hand and urging you onwards.

Sherry 💜🤗💕

[Former-Member]

Dear @Starta

You've been very quiet, and I know you were going through some pretty intensive therapy yesterday.  I'm worried about you sweetie.  Please be okay.  Wish I could rock up there at the hospital and have a cuppa with you in the warm sunshine. ☕ And I'd sneak in some choccie as well 🍫 and maybe some yummy cake 🍰.  Ummm, its getting hot here after 2 cooler days.  Maybe a nice iced coffee or frappe is more appropriate?  🥤  Perhaps tonight we can sit outside in the cool and star gaze?  I would love to do that with you in companionable silence or quiet discussion.  ✨⭐ 

Sherry 💜🤗💕

[Starta]

Hello @Former-Member,

im having a really difficult time atm...so much people noise here as we have a full house...I have no where that I can go to get quiet...Although last night was so noisey with one girl really going off and swearing that I went into my bathroom in my room and slept in there for 3 hours....I was so tired I fell asleep in their while I was sitting on the floor crying....I really need to go home to heal more..I need quiet now....Psychiatrist this afternoon....mmmmm...big sigh....just wanting to go home..

love and hugs 💙🤗..

Starta

[Former-Member]

Hello again dearest @Starta.  I was so relieved to hear from you, so I thank you for making the effort to post.

I try to keep up with your other site, but its just so hard for me Starta.  Not having an account means its incredibly difficult to find and keep up with posts.  And when I do, it hurts so much that I am unable to reply.  Or even stick in a 'like', when I so badly want to.  So it really gets me down.  Therefore please do not assume I know whats going on with you at any time.  So that means I appreciate so very much your brief update here.

Yes I can imagine how difficult it is for you at the hospital Starta, and I feel for you so much.  Constant noise and no way to avoid it is awful. Can you try to utilise your mindfulness skills to help you through those times Starta?

Of course you need to go home, its where we all prefer to be.  You will get there Starta, you just need to persevere for a little longer while the psychiatrists do their thing.  Please dont hesitate to tell them how you feel, dont try to hide how difficult it is for you.  It wont help you in the long run.  Given the enormous amount of time and effort you have put into this already, it would be a crying shame if you left just a little too soon.  Just feel confident that when you are released to go home, you will be ready for that transition.

On a happier note, have you heard from your youngest son since you had your home visit around Christmas?  I know its a very long drive for him to actually visit, but perhaps he's been phoning when he can.  I hope so.  And have you spoken to your friend about how your little furbabies are going?

You will be home soon. 🙂

Much love and a big reassuring hug to you.  

Sherry 💜🤗💕

[Former-Member]

Good morning @Starta and a big hug to start your day.  🤗🌼

I see you visited here last night via the 'support button'.  Always a delight to see you, in whatever form that takes.  At least I know you're still around. 🌺

Just a quick one today to ask how you're doing?  I know how desperately you want to go home, and I really hope that can happen soon.  You've been in the hospital a long time now, and I think you have made some great progress while there. I think you are already there longer than the original plans?  It takes time to sort out medications, and I realise you've had some difficulties with some of them, so I guess that has resulting in the extra time needed.  I really hope the latest lot are working for you and that they psychs are all happy with your current progress.

Would love a chat when you're feeling up to it.

Much love to you Starta ...... 💜💕.......... always watching over you and willing to listen any time 👀👂

Sherry 

[Starta]

Good morning @Sherr,

I was given a  Choice yesterday to stay in hospital until next Friday or go home and have a daily visit from my mental health nurse and a community nurse I decided to go home I had my first visit yesterday afternoon after I arrived home. Not sure how I will go I felt excited to get home but this morning I woke up with the same old feeling of being useless and  not knowing what to do with the day so I decided to try and clean my house up as much as I can to keep me constantly busy throughout the day. I don’t think it matters how well I feel in the hospital  but a few hours after I was on our own again old  feelings come back again...

 The mads I’m on a definitely working as my depression has levelled out and now I think my anxiety has been helped as well but there is no way that the meds can help with living and trying to cope on my own.

My psychiatrists have told me  that the memories of my past will always be there to haunt me I just have to learn how to control the triggers and that’s hard. I’m home now and I’ve decided I do not want to go back there so I’m gonna try my hardest to live in normal life the best I can do I am going to try and go for a walk and walking twice a day at the hospital and I really do need to continue this  I tried to take a early morning walk your feelings of being scared came back to me I will try again this afternoon for a walk.

I hope you are doing I hope you’re feeling okay I noticed that you are also struggling a lot please always remember that you are a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and don’t let anybody ever tell you any different .

Love and hugs

Starta.

[Former-Member]

Ohhhhhh .... @Starta .... I am so very pleased to hear that you are back home.  I'll bet it was a joyous homecoming for your little furbabies, and you too for that matter

Yes, I agree ... out of hospital is always going to be different to being in the very strict routines of the hospital itself. I'm happy to hear that the hospital has arranged for both a MH nurse and Community nurse to keep a look out for you and to help you adjust back to home life.  It is a big transition from hospital to home after a 6 week period.  How good is it that the medications are finally having a beneficial effect for you Starta?  The meds will help by giving you a crutch to help prop you up when times are hard, but the real work is all up to you Starta.  

I'm glad to hear that you intend to continue with the daily walks, I'm sure your furbabies will help you with that, and get a great deal of enjoyment out of it as well.  Try to ensure you continue to eat regular good healthy meals, and keep up your routine of sleep - regular bed times etc - that you were having while in hospital.  All of this helps.  Also try to keep up the good work with your continued mindfulness exercises and take time out specifically to do that.  

Now that you're home ... is there anything that you can treat yourself with?  A reward for all that hard work you've been doing over the past couple of months.  The hospital was only a stepping stone Starta and there are further steps still to be taken. But I know you can do that. The meds will help, as will your renewed determination to succeed in this journey of self discovery and self improvement.  

Please remember that I'm here for you Starta, any time you wish to talk.

Sherry 💕🤗🌸🐶