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โ24-08-2019 04:28 PM
โ24-08-2019 04:28 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hey @Former-Member
we didnโt do our long walk. It was very very windy and cold. We walked around the block and drove down the road fir a coffee.
Im looking forward to Monday so I can walk alone.
We ended up going to flight centre and booking our return flights for our October holiday.
Hiw are you going? โค๏ธ
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โ25-08-2019 12:51 PM
โ25-08-2019 12:51 PM
Re: not feeling good
Why does life have to be do hard?
husband shitty snd huffing and puffing. Cooks lunch and cracks it because it wasnโt right.
Anyway im not going walking. Itโs rainjng. And I really canโt be bothered snymore
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โ25-08-2019 12:57 PM
โ25-08-2019 12:57 PM
Re: not feeling good
I just potted some new succulents and repotted some baby ones and it is raining here to now
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โ25-08-2019 01:03 PM
โ25-08-2019 01:03 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thatโs good @Shaz51 i do like succulents.
Shaz Iโm really angry tiday but canโt pinpoint why
really angry
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โ25-08-2019 06:42 PM
โ25-08-2019 06:42 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi everyone @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @MDT
@Faith-and-Hope and others
this morning I intended to go fir a walk. Instead hubby and I went fir a drive to the areas that are cheaper to live. Nit so sure about these areas. Itโs really hard. We ended up arguing in the car and I shut down. I was really angry with him, me, my family and life.
Came home and after lunch I had a sleep
Then I put chicken in the oven and decided to go fir a walk. I asked hubby and he was laying down and said no itโs ok.
Great I went on my own with music on. I ended up walking for about 45 mins.
I was happy that I did go because I wasnโt going to.
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โ25-08-2019 07:01 PM
โ25-08-2019 07:01 PM
Re: not feeling good
Well done on going for that walk @BlueBay ๐๐๐ถ๐
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โ27-08-2019 01:47 PM
โ27-08-2019 01:47 PM
Re: not feeling good
Tidsy has been a difficult day.
Just saw my psychologist and spoke about my inner child. I donโt want to do this anymore. Csnt cry for an hour. Iโm exhausted emotional and want to lash out. I want to sh so I can show my doctor what it feels like. I want him to understand me.
What if I never get better.
I so need to lash out. I cried out so much anger but still have more.
@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @MDT @Faith-and-Hope and ithers folliwing
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โ27-08-2019 02:36 PM
โ27-08-2019 02:36 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay
Not sure what to say, but, I feel some of your pain and frustration.
Maybe you can go for a walk and clear your head that way a little?
I don't think SH is going to help your doctor understand.
Maybe you could have fewer sessions as you seem to be picking at the same wound continously? Seems to Me that some of this is doing more harm than good. I can't imagine the toll it takes on you and your family each time.
I know sometimes that this may be necessary and if you feel that its doing you good then you should keep doing it, but, maybe its time to rethink and assess again? Please don't think i'm telling you what to do, i've never been in your situation. I'm just being honest about how I see it. I worry that this is how you seem to feel after your sessions and its horrible.
Have you got any further with looking at going to the gym?
I'm round for another hour or two if you want to vent or talk.
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โ27-08-2019 02:55 PM
โ27-08-2019 02:55 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thank you @Gazza75
I am too confused. But a part of me doesnโt want to go sgsin. This one Iโm seeing is a trauma therapist dealing eith childhood sexual abuse. BUT I think Iโm tired of rehashing. I canโt do it.
Think I will see the hospital psychologist as itโs free and Iโm not traumatised.
Iโm so emotional. My body is aching.
I phoned my doctor and told him I was going to sh. He talked to me and said that would not be good idea. Heโs not sure that this trauma therspy is htlpung me as I am wirse after each session.
I now want to hibernate from life from my family.
Itโs so draining. ๐ข๐ข๐ข
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โ27-08-2019 03:01 PM
โ27-08-2019 03:01 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay
I really agree with @Gazza75 that you are picking the wound - something people do - something I have done - and it leads nowhere and only causes ourselves pain and serves nothing
And self-harm - that proves nothing either - people know you are in pain - you don't need to do that to show anyone
You can't change the past and you are only giving power to your abusers when you keep on doing this - yes - you may need to have an occasional session with a therapist about your abusers but imo you have more important work to do about your marriage
This is so hard on you - I have my own demons to confront atm and I know that sometimes this can be overwhelming and life seems to contrive at times to bring it all up
But you need to let it go - because nothing can be changed - only you can change
And accepting it doesn't mean it didn't happen or that it's not important - it is - but not to the point where it is just destroying you
I'm sorry - but it is what it is - such a tough issue
Dec