Life can be a Pain

[MDT]

Hey @Owlunar thank you for your update.

Sounds like a fair bit has been happening. I am sorry to hear about your daughter and the situation there.

Reminds me a little bit about my partner. The situation with her mum is less than ideal so to speak. It's more to do with the fact that they lost a member of their family when my partner was at a formative age (9). My partner lost her sister. Her mum lost a daughter. There are traumas. We still don't know if we will meet them in person yet - her mum is very mixed about her immigration to Aus.
I guess what I am saying my friend is that family can be like this - but I mean you know that already right? Apologies for my waffling on. But just trying to say I hear you.

I guess too - how you feel is key. But the behaviour your daughter has shown has been the cause? I'm not sure though.

Sometimes my ego can get in the way of expressing how I get hurt. Particularly with my partner. It's like I have a right to be angry and upset. Of course I do have that right, but the ego gets in and adds fuel's to the fire. It doesn't help. Not one iota.

In our struggles in life I think we are entitled to get angry when hurt. We are emotional beings after all.

I think it was Shakespeare who said to give sorrow words

[Owlunar]

Thanks @MDT 

You are right - family can be like this - and we have the right to any emotion we experience - anger - hurt - rage - sorrow - it's what we do with our emotions that's important.

I have learned a lot through life - one is that we can never change anyone else's mind or beliefs - so why bother? Another is the power of letting someone have the last word - that gives us the inner strength to maintain our own mind and beliefs - and that must be so frustrating for the other person.

I have no intention of telling my daughter her wrongs - only the way I feel - and the way we feel is always valid if not sound. She does have a lot to learn - and I know her better than she realises - not that I will tell her that - and I love her - which I will say.

I heard what you said about your partner and her mother losing a sister and daughter - likewise - my daughter and I have had a similar loss in my son and her brother. I have worked hard to accept the loss - also - I have no wish to discuss what happened - still I would listen to her feelings about it - I just have no wish myself to go into the troubled life of my son with her - with anyone really.

Also - we need to pick our moments - it's not wise to react when we are feeling vulnerable - it's better to self-soothe over time and think it all through. My daughter could learn a lot from me - it's important to know that she wants to learn and wants to learn it from me. I totally learned that myself through time.

Wisdom comes through living a self-examining life - time gives us the space to learn how and when - I am grateful for my life's lessons - I have had a life worth living that's true.

Thanks Hams - and my thoughts are with your partner and her mother - this kind of loss is something I really understand.

Best thoughts

Owlunar

Also - it's useless to tell anyone else where they went wrong - 

[Owlunar]

Thanks @outlander 

I have someone coming in to help me shower three times a week - and a little other help - still it was not easy coping with the after effects of my dental surgery - I did have choices though.

I could have gone to respite or even hospital I guess - or extra help at home - I chose to go it alone - that extra help can be intrusive especially when it comes to food prep.

Sometimes I have needed help to sort out a large piece of pumpkin - alas - watching someone else do this gives me the shudders - as hard as it is I have less angst when I battle with it myself. I like the way I do things and yes - I have had prepared meals - shudder - why do other people love cauliflower so much so they use it in every meal - and then requesting they not give it to me didn't work either because the whole meal tasted like cauliflower.

I guess I'm really picky about how and what and when I cook - and that's fine by me.

Yeah - I took the road less taken and I think it was best for me but hard - you are right.

I am glad you mentioned this - I really appreciated your post

Owlunar

[outlander]

that sounds tough @Owlunar but im glad that your getting some help.

i find it strange for people to do meal prep to. have you considered something like meals on wheels or another program that can provide ready made meals for you? that way its one less worry for you and they can accommodate for many different requests like allergies or if your requiring softer foods etc as well

[MDT]

Hey @Owlunar
Only just read your post now.
Thanks for sharing
There is a fair bit there and I like it a lot.

I think a self examined life is inevitable for those of us who are deep thinkers

[Owlunar]

Thanks @outlander 

That is a good suggestion - still - after trying different providers of pre-cooked meals I prefer my own cooking - I am a super-taster I think - and while I can - I will do it myself.

I can get smaller pieces of pumpkin at the local Foodworks - on the corner of my street - and I order from Woolworths - still eating soft foot - that will be the case for about 3 months - I am off the mushy stuff though - and I have seen the oral surgeon and he is pleased with my process - and that was a relief.

Yesterday was a really bleak day in Melbourne - I gave up during the afternoon and read for hours in bed - snug as a bug - and rather later than normal I made a stew from stir-fry beef and frozen vegies - I added herbs and it was fine and I have enough for tonight. And yes - I will be sick of this after a while - I am longing for a nice piece of steak - I guess it will be really great when I can have it. I am looking forward to that

I think of you often

Best wishes

Owlunar

[Owlunar]

Thanks @MDT 

Yes - we deep-thinkers do examine things maybe many never consider - I find it a profitable pastime and I am glad you do too

It's two weeks since I spoke to my daughter and I am okay - we need a holiday from each other right now.

All the best

Owlunar

[Owlunar]

My life is so interesting - I wouldn't want to miss a minute of it - there is always something happening.

I have a dead or dying possum in the eaves near my A/C - I think it's trapped.

An hour or a bit more I hear this animal thrashing, thumping and hissing - it sounded terribly distressed - and now it has gone quiet - so maybe it died.

No - it's still there - oh dear.

I have rung every phone number possible - like the RSPCA - SES - my pest controller - others and even the local police - just for advice - and no one is available except for the SES and they are not equipped to remove a dead or dying animal.

So yes - I do have a sense of humour about all of this - and of course it's not high on anyone's list of priorities - except mine - I don't want another dead animal on my property. There are worse issues of course - this I know - (almighty sigh)

Okay - back later - I'm going to have a hot chocolate and watch TV - I am not able to get up there and move the tiles around myself so that's that

Owlunar - taking it easy again - Saturday night is not a good time to need some help - 

[Shaz51]

Let's sit together my mumma bear @Owlunar and have a hot chocolate 🥰

[Owlunar]

Yes @Shaz51 

That's a good idea - I have the drinking chocolate but no marshmallows - perhaps we can share imaginary marshmallows

I get it how concerning all of this business with Mr Shaz is

Mumma Bear