Healthy relationships: What are the signs?

[Former-Member]

Very interesting read on healthy relationships. I have found the tell tale signs of what people to avoid in relationships in order to move towards more healthier ones. This has helped my mental health and well being remarkedly. They are below:-

[Former-Member]

Yeah @Former-Member I've found lists like that have been extremely helpful in the past! It helped organise my emotions and put words to situations with other people that just .... didn't feel right. Very good

[Shaz51]

@-Enigma- I've found the  list interesting xx

[Former-Member]

Below is also a list I adhere to for nurturing healthy, close relationships with others. It has enriched my bonds in my personal life with others and makes for happier, satisfying relationships for me. It does take commitment and consistency on both sides, being the key word for the survival of relationships that last. This is such an important topic as healthier, relations with others is essential for happiness and good mental health. 

[Shaz51]

very true @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

@NikNik @Former-Member

I always wonder where major MI fits into these lists (i.e. psychotic illnesses and those potentially terminal by way of self harm).

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member - good question. In my personal lived experience there are really no black and white answers here as to where we fit into the category of being able and capable to sustain productive healthy relationships utilising the tips given when mentally ill. We are all as unique as are our own personal experiences, circumstances, intentions, relationship experiences, trust levels, values, choices, genetic makeup, individual strength of will and resolve, knowledge, negative and positive outlook we adopt and our personal headspace; our capacity for insight (seeing the signs of healthy versus unhealthy relations), spiritual and emotional maturity, and our capacity to love and to give are at all different levels. 

In my own life experience with psychosis (due to childhood abuse) and witnessing my daughters - there is definitely diminished responsibility and the capacity to nurture relations with others at that time when that sick as our perception of reality and rationale is out. We can barely cope with life at that time let alone nurture the life of another. Same can be for when someone is chronically physically ill or is facing dire life circumstances. All depends. 

For me when I had a mental breakdown it was relying on the care and love of others together with the right professional help, to guide me out of it to better mental health and well being. I was vulnerable and unable to give in relationships at the same capacity as when I was healthier. But it did not diminish the love I felt for special others, such as my husband and children at that time. Just my capacity to express and act on it when at my worse and most blind with pessimism and pain. The mind, emotions and spirit is fighting a nightmare. 

In order to keep and sustain reasonably healthy relations in that state I needed to do my upmost to "not give into the mental illness or to give up". Not an easy feat when despair and dread kept knocking at my door. I had to fight it with a positive outlook and renewed resolve and purpose for myself and for those I loved. A choice. To keep that I had to let go of the past, self doubt and toxic people who fed my negative outlook and state of mind.

I had to find a will and a way to keep and sustain the love I had from others and find it for life. I had to fight the negative thoughts and seek the right treatments/counselling/lifestyle to remain strong enough to create a healthy relationship with myself, life and others. A real battle. The more I fought it the stronger I became and the more capable I became of nurturing relationships when faced with depression and anxiety. That's where I fitted in. It's a work in progress. The key is to keep pushing through the mental anguish and do the opposite of the negativity it may dictate. 💕

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

I really appreciate you sharing as you have done before so openly and honestly. It has continued to help me as I support my husband through his ongoing struggle with his mental health.

Darcy

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 🌹💗💗💗x

[Former-Member]

I do believe in being open and honest as I have learnt that nurtures real genuine relationships with people in my life and is one sign of a healthy one - having nothing to hide. People see the real me and take it or leave it - those who matter and have the same values stay and/or appreciate me and I them. Good start.  I have lasting close relationships now as a result. Those with masks are not happy within themselves and cannot form happy, healthy relationships I have experienced - being real and honest in relations with others is a sign of a healthy bond that will grow. 

 With a lot of trial and error (hurts), I have learnt to see the latter knowing the difference between real and fake people. This knowledge has helped me form real meaningful, loving relationships by choosing the right people to move closer to. I watch how people I meet talk about and/or treat others. A sign of what is underneath. No one is perfect but if they were always respectful of all others, particularly when criticised constructively or when not getting their way (then I observed the true colours came out), I would try and get to know them more.

It is most important in my experience to know a person very, very well personally before allowing an individual into my life and heart, so healthy bonds can form - not toxic ones. The latter can do untold damage while the former healthy relationships heals.