Topic Tuesday - now open: Stepping off the distress seesaw

[Loopy]

SunnyDaisy, I get memory recall for no particular reason what so ever. It can happen when by myself, in a crowd or watching TV. When it happens I can feel the tears welling up and I make a bee line to somewhere away from everything and crawl back under the rock.

loopy

[Former-Member]

@Loopy  Your honest sharing will be of benefit to other Fourm members who may feel that they are the only person who is not recognised and supported in the community.

You are courageous for speaking up.

[kato]

yes it does bring it's own distress, but i think with anxiety/nervousness over a situation, per say, a front, for lack of a better word, and especially when that front has been a part of my existence for a very long time, it automatically comes up, it is there as protection as you put it, but not thought of it just does it, i must admit, i do get caught up in the small things and bid things that have happened recently, and i do dwell quite heavily on them, when i am alone.

but when my moods are all over the shop, it is less distressing to have the mask up then not

if that makes sense

[Former-Member]

@Loopy , it really is sad that society at large judges tears.  And I imagine you have found many creative places to crawl under a rock (toilet, bathroom, outside etc).

Not suggesting you need to do this ... but I was reminded of a situation when I had someone tell me  that she would spontaneously cry while out for dinner with her husband and a group of friends.  Everyone was most uncomfortable with her tears and she said "Don't worry about me, I'm just being emotional."

[CherryBomb]

You gotcha @kato. The video in the initial post describes it as avoiding the feelings follwing a distressing situation. A natural response for people. It's something that I think many people can relate to.

This extent to which people do this can differ. @Loopy and @Former-Member what are your thoughts on this? Does putting up a front, and shielding yourself from a distressing situation sound like something that can contribute to the seesaw? If so, how or how not??

[Loopy]

SunnyDaisy, I really don't think it is courages to tell all in this forum, I have also done it publicly so that they can understand just what it is like to have a mental illness which is not of my doing or any fault of mine but to inform them that the Governments take care of you whilst you are well but drop you loke a hot brick when youy "fall, off the perch. "

loopy

[Former-Member]

Absolutely @kato .   Masks are there for a reason.  It would not be useful just to drop them all of a sudden. 

I totally get that.

[Loopy]

CherryBomb, to me they one of the same, they all lead to the seesaw and merrygoround.

loopy

[-karma-]

How distressing this must be for people though...it must feel like a real escape is never possible, an unpredictable reminder. What sort of mantra can people tell themselves in order to not fall prey to a total relapse?

[Former-Member]

 @CherryBomb, I agree with the video that defenses are there to protect the self. 

And, that as the feelings are released in a way that is supportive and 'safe' (safe for each individual), the masks are no longer needed. 

At that time, I have heard many people reflect, look back and say "ohhhh, I can see a difference in my life.  It's not a big WOW that I had expected, or a momentus occasion.  But I can see that I really do respond/react differently now."