My CM discharged me at the end of last year but only now am I seeing how damaging she actually was. @tyme. It’s way more expensive with out them but so much better care. I look forward to my appointments and not dread them. 

It’s ok that’s just how it seemed. I should have thought about you and how busy you would be catching up. I’m sorry. 

I didn’t mow my lawn or bath my dogs today. I just couldn’t. I went to the markets and to the supermarket and tried to dodge people but they kept seeing me and I had to talk. I dread the most when someone sings out my nickname. That means that they are from work and I just don’t want to talk to them outside of work.

I’ve just taken medication that shows up in a drug test so that if we get a test tomorrow I will fail and get stood down until the official results are in. That way I can try and make an appointment with my psych on Tuesday. If not I’ll just have to wait until the following week. 

Im very irritable. My dogs keep licking me and I hate it and they won’t stop. It’s really p!ssing me off. I feel so bad because I yelled at them. They don’t deserve that. I’m a really bad mum. They really would bet better off without me.