when is it time for hospital

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

When I have finished preparing my salad and finished my chores I will be going out and getting a re am of computer paper and then ringing their helpline to sort out the printer - I can manage that during the day but not at night

I love what @Former-Member said

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@Li1 wrote:

.I suggest you make a time in the day to remove yourself from your situation whether it's going for coffee,a walk etc.

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How old are these little sisters who need so much baby sitting? I am sure they can hack it long enough for you to disappear for a while - you don't have to go far - maybe even watch them from a hiding place so they will think you have gone - and left them - but you are there all the time

I hated it when my mother told me to look after my little sister - luckily I was busy out of the house with several important things like work, night school and being in the army reserve - so yeah - she didn't insist too often but when she did - ah - let's sing the Little-Sister-Blues - my lil sister could do what she liked and it was always my fault - I was either too slack in letting her do what she liked or a bully for stopping it - aw - I know you can't win

But yeah - try and disappear for short spells - and gradually make those spells longer - I am sure those little pains-in-the-rear-end will manage

Lots of hugs - I wish I was your mother - I would be encouraging you to find your feet in the world - not abusing you

Dec

[outlander]

Hi @Owlunar@Former-Member
thank you both for your responses
im trying to listen the loveley friend s on here I know what I should be doing but I cant seem to do it. I just think 4 weeks is way too long. I get a wekk I think I could make a week work but not 4. I think they only way id stay 4 weeks and that would be if I was put in invulntarily
I want to do go and I know that I need the help but im greatly affected by the responsibilities I have and not being able to just up and leave.
I know my middle sister oculd help but thats how it starts. Thats part of my anxiety that they will have to go through wat im going through and thats not what id want.

I dont get it- if t was my middle sister or my yongest sister goimg through this then there wouldnt be an questions asked except when can they get into the progam

but instead all I get is arguments which make me feel worse and get called a psychopath.

I event ried to explain to her about the severity, I said I lay a wak most of the night making sure my sisters are breathing and thats just a tad of it.

I said my psych and gp have offered to anser any questions you might have and she said why ad I said because I dont think you realsie its this severe. She growled at me.

[Shaz51]

How old are these little sisters-- they are 14 and 6 @Owlunar xx

Lots of hugs - I wish I was your mother - I would be encouraging you to find your feet in the world -- me tooo  @outlander 

[outlander]

hugs @Shaz51 

[outlander]

I feel so empty inside
words can not describe
all the time we fight
nothings ever right
I hurt my self to ease the pain
you look at me and think im insane
if you look at my scars you wil see
but you still wont see me
I cant deal with life its getting so hard
im broken and scarred
everything I have done wrong
I thinks its easier if im gone
im your greatest regret

[Former-Member]

@outlander, I might be completely wrong and out of place, but I've been thinking. And it comes after my treatment team has started pressuring me to move out of home away from my toxic environment.
Have you thought about moving out of home and living an independent life?
Whilst you have responsibilities, in reality they are not yours. You are a young women with no children who needs to live her own life. Your mum is responsible for her own children and she should be taking that responsibility, not you. Your carer responsibilities are also not yours, but should be your parents too. And there are many options for your mother to take for her to run her own life.
As someone said, your mum is not going to be impressed, no matter what you do.
You need to take care of you and as a young woman you should be living independently, seeking new opportunities etc etc.
So.... have you thought about moving out. Taking charge of your own life and needs. I know it's hard to do, but I think it might be a great idea for you.

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member 

i have had the thought but i cant afford it

i dont really mind caring for my pop. its  not that, its the rest of the responsibilities.

and im also scared that if i move out the responsibilities will be put onto my middle  sister and thats how it started for me only i started when i was alot younger than my middle sister.

im trying to live but not allow the same things that happened to me happen to my sisters. it is a massive fear and its a major trigger for my anxiety

[Former-Member]

Money can be worked out - you can start working or get youth allowance or study and get Austudy and in 2 years your sister can move out and join you.
I don't see caring as your pop as the big issue, it's living in that environment where you are not respected, your mental health is not supported and you feel like you're not able to get treatment when you need it.
There are lots of options for finances which we can discuss, but right now you are not well and I don't know if you'll be able to get as well as you could if you were living independently.
What's going to happen when your middle sister finishes high school? And for how long are you going to have to be babysitter for your little sister?
THIS IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!
Your life and mental health is worth more.

I understand it's a massive fear, and I've had friends in similar situations to you. They moved out when they started uni and their families coped without them.

[Former-Member]

Sorry if I'm being rude or bossy or pressuring you too much @outlander.....

[outlander]

sorry @Former-Member it was setting my anxiety off abit

not your fault- its me

uhh i dont really know-  i want to kinda do the 4 week program but i dont know what to do. i jsut need a break. i think id be happy to checking into a hotel for a few days by myself