I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’ve just climbed into bed @AuntGlow 

Little Captain needs a lot of love and reassurance. There is lots of not being good enough, lots of being unloved and unwanted. That’s probably too much. 

It’s hard. I take things so personally. I hate it but it’s just me. One of my many flaws. 

I don’t do change and I actually thought I was doing it right but I guess not. I thought using my safety plan and trying things was recovery focussed but I guess I need to figure out what recovery focussed is. It feels like we have to be ok. I doesn’t feel like there is room for not being ok. 

I have some deep dark stuff happening tonight and it’s not recovery so I’ve had to sit with them on my own. No outlet. That’s why I feel so alone. That’s why I feel like I don’t fit the mould anymore. 

[Captain24]

So I’m up early. I go outside and it’s that cold that it’s sleeting snow. That hasn’t happened for a long time. It’s going to be a cold miserable day! 

[Captain24]

It’s a little bit cold here

 

[Captain24]

I’m cold and aching

[Captain24]

I’m alone and lonely. I know that’s not recovery focussed so I’ll just leave it at that. So much to add but the mask says I’m ok. 

[creative_writer]

Hi @Captain24 just popping in to say Hi. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in feeling low, it’s hard when mood plummets. Mental health can be so brutal, so it makes a lot of sense to feel lonely. I have lots going in my mind, but I’m also trying to be recovery focussed and it’s hard. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, you’re doing okayish and then you’re not. I do hope you realise how much strength you’ve shown 💖

[Captain24]

Thanks @creative_writer 

I think I should just go. 

I don’t belong. I don’t get the recovery thing. 

[creative_writer]

@Captain24 you do belong here, I know sometimes it is hard. The forums will always be here for you 💖

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , don't over think it. Bottom line, when you post heavy thoughts:

- tell us what you'd like from the community; and/or

- what you are doing to help yourself; and/or

- you're safe e.g "I'm safe"

Does that make it a little easier to understand?