I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I must have rolled on him, he certainly let me know. The attack and bite… I don’t think he was happy with me! He does lay against my back so it makes it hard for me to move! @Jynx 

I did challenge him in the 2way! Cause I knew I was right. It’s just that I can’t take anymore. I don’t have any room for anything to go wrong. 

I really want to do something 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 sounds like you really feeling the need for things to shift hey, I can sense the frustration. What do you think you will do? Is there a decent complaints process?

[Captain24]

It was the boss. @Jynx.

Something has to change and change quickly. 

I meant I want to do something to myself

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oh no hun I mistook you - please look after yourself okay? No crappy boss is worth you hurting yourself over. Please don't struggle through this alone, crisis lines and forums folks are here for you as well if you need.  

I gotta head off hun, be kind to yourself and hopefuly no more nose nibbles in the night! 🫂

[Captain24]

Good night. @Jynx 

Thanks for being you

[Captain24]

I went up the street at 9am to grab a couple of things for work. I’m talking a 10 minute shop. 

I ran into mum and dad and had to talk to them. Then I ran into a guy that I use to work with and his wife. 

This guy kept commenting on my empty trolley while I was talking to my parents. Then we ended up getting to our cars at the same time and I got stuck talking to them. They always have to whinge to me about everything. I don’t have the capacity to take anything else in. There isn’t anything else I can take before falling over that edge. It’s close enough already. The constant contemplation is there. Twice a day. 

It’s like I’ve got sucker on my head. I know I whinge on here all the time but to people in my life they think I’m perfectly fine. 

Ive just gotten home after an hour and a half of peopleing. Im tired and exhausted. 

This is all over the place but so is my brain. I can’t think straight. There is too much overwhelm. Too much darkness. Too many thoughts. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 

I'm hearing how overwhelming this morning has been, lots of interacting when you maybe weren't feeling up to it. I'm glad that you're able to retreat into your safe space at home now. Are you feeling safe being back there? 

[Captain24]

Not really @Ru-bee there’s just too much

[Ru-bee]

Okay, I'm just going to send you through an email in a min to touch base @Captain24 

Here with you 💜

[Captain24]

I’m up and ready for work. I don’t want to go. I’m not in the right headspace. I hope they drug test me. I will fail. I’ve taken meds that show up. 

Everything is just too much. I just want to lay in bed and cry.