I can’t cope

[tyme]

You've got to make it through this time @Captain24 .

I know it is hard. I know it is dark and tough, but you have the whole community here. 

I believe in you that things will get better.

As I've shared many times in the past, I was so close to death. There is NOTHING good about me that I should make it and you don't.

You CAN do it.

[Captain24]

At the same time do I want to make it @tyme 

Im at that point where I know no one would care anyway. No one would even notice. 

I don’t know how you did it. I’m glad you did though. It’s been really good getting to know you. I want you to know that. 

I don’t know how to make it. I have nothing left. 

[tyme]

I don't know. In a way, it seems that I was trying and trying and trying for so long but I was trying the wrong thing. But when it was time to recover, it sort of all just fell into place.

As I've mentioned, nearly 15 years of failed attempts of living... I was miserable. If anything, I felt sorry for the people around me. Yet inside, I was so so so low.

Somehow, I feel that once you start 'doing it right', it falls into place. I just don't know what that means for you.

Please stay as well as you can be so that this next admission is not a crisis one but a therapeutic one - if you know what I mean @Captain24 

How are your dogs tonight?

[Captain24]

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Obviously I’m not getting anything right. @tyme 

Hopefully it’ll be a good stay. I’ll have finished changing my meds around the same time as I go in. So that’s concerning. 

Pix is chewing on an old bone and Jett is just climbing all over me. I’m not sure how he will cope if anything happens to me. He misses me so much when I’m at work. 

[Captain24]

 

[Captain24]

 

[tyme]

They are just amazingly cute @Captain24 !

I visited a home yesterday, and one of their cats just had 3 kittens a few weeks ago! I was totally in love with them!

Unfortunately, it means they have 10 cats so they will give the kittens to the vet for rehoming...

I have NEVER liked cats at all until I met this family's many cats...

This is the family which thought they had 2 females until one got pregnant... Because both cats were indoors, they realised the 'female' was in fact a male...

[Captain24]

I’m sitting here crying @tyme. The last time I cried like this it was an hour and a half.

They are a little cute. Pix always has her tongue out in photos! That was the coolest though. 

I don’t do cats. A kitten would be cute but then it has to grow up and I don’t like it. 

Im guessing one is obviously male! I guess they found out the wrong way. 

[tyme]

I really love those dogs. They are too gorgeous. Remember how Pix had a bad leg and Jett had surgery? How are they now? Do they still have issues with their legs? @Captain24 

Is this lef thing a chihuahua issue?

What time do you go to work tomorrow?

[Captain24]

They are a bit cute @tyme. Pix is fully recovered and can jump as high as her little legs will reach. She hasn’t been better. Jett’s one that he had done is really good. When I took him for his yearly vaccination the vet checked it and said it was great but he will need to get his right one done at some stage. 

Pix’s torn cruciate can happen to any dog at anytime. Chihuahuas have knee issues so it’s pretty common. Most little dogs have the same issues. 

I have to get up at 4:30 and I get to work just after 6. If I don’t stop crying soon it’ll be harder to get up.