Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques
I saw the psychiatrist and told her I have a plan and the means and I am really scared. I said I had told my treating team in the public hospital and they wanted me in the private facility.

My psychiatrist said she didn't have time to talk about it today as she's really busy. Told me to make another appointment in a month. Then charged me $180.00. Now what....why do people have to avoid talking about suicide. It's sure real for me... no one will discuss it. Had enough, really overwhelmed.
Sorry J I know your not having a good day.
Karen

[Jacques]

Wow Karen your psychiatrist should have her diploma removed and she should not be allowed to work with MI people ever again, what i low act from a professional, she should not be treating anyone, let alone you.  if it where me i would report her for misconduct, she should not be working in the industry.  i have had the same experiance they seem more interested in the money than helping people.

Yes i often want to talk about suicide but people seem to change the subject really quickly, it annoyes me to, you are not alone.  Karen feel free to talk to me about it if the moderators allow it, i am sick if not being able to speak freely about a real topic to a lot of us.

Karen i am here for you, i am sorry for giving you wrong advice, maybe i should be helping you, i would do a damn better job than some professionals, i am really angry about the treatment you have recieved from so many supposed "professionals" it is not fair, the people who need it can't get access and people who don't need it, i.e. celebraties, do, it's just not fair.  i hate society, i hate people, i hate money.

Karen i am here if you want to vent like me, anytime my angel, if you are feeling really down i will sit with you and i am willing to talk about any topic you want.

You have been so strong, it is society letting you down, you have tried so hard, you are way stronger than me.

Hange in their, you have me and the girls, remember you are not the only one who has a plan, i do and i know many others do to, we just have to stop ourselves acting on the thoughts.

I am thinking of you my angel

Jacques

[CherryBomb]

@hiddenite,

That's sounds like inappropriate and unsupportive behaviour on psychiartirst's behalf. I'm frustrated to hear about how they behaved. It's great that you opened up to a health professional about how you're feeling, and I'm just sorry that they have responded this way. Please know that this does not mean that all experiences of mental health professionals are not like this.

I'm concerned to hear that you're thinking about suicide. Are you safe for tonight?

@Jacques and @hiddenite, I want you both to know that here on the Forums, we don't mind if people talk about suicide. However, we also need to try our best to prevent content that could be triggering or distressing for other member's on here.

As you both know, we are a peer-to-peer on line support Forum, which means that we don't offer crisis support. So to ensure that you can get appropriate support, we strongly suggest calling one of the following numbers:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling
Mensline 1300 789 978
If in immediate danger: 000

Stay safe,

CB

[hiddenite]

Thanks Jacques and Cb

I'm lost for words if people won't help I just don't see the point in being honest.
Why is it so difficult to get help. The system fails.
Jacques please don't apologize its obvious that the medical professionals just don't know how to handle someone who is suicidal.

It cannot be a coincidence that psychs act this way. I've lost count now how many ive seen.
I just don't see a solution and thats really sad.

Jacques you know what happens when you try to talk about it .
I wish there was someone I could sit with and just talk about it.
I wish the professionals knew that by not allowing me to talk about it. It just gets worse and emotions build.
I feel no one understands:(

[Jacques]

i know you know i understand, i just think if these people go into a profession to help hep people, especially people like us, they should be able to handle what is being said, sometimes i think that when they go into these professions they think you just sit and have a chat then get handed a big fat cheque.

Karen, i think you an i need to just stick together, talk to each other on here, i hope i am able to give you more support here than you are getting by professionals.

i wish i could be their to sit and talk about it, i know how hard it is to internalise all those thoughts, i have done for over a decade, i came so close to taking my life when i was 18, i mean really close. ever since then i have fantasized about it, i am like you i just want the panic and sadness to end, but i know, and i know you know we still need to go on, you have your girls, i have mum.

My angel never feel like no one understands, if i told you some of the things i think of every day, you would know you are not alone.

i am always here to support you.

Jacques

[CherryBomb]

@hiddenite - how your psychiatrist responded is not good at all, and could be followed up with a complaint. His bahaviour is completely unacceptable, and there should be some consequences for something like this. Not following his duty of care is pretty serious. You can find out more information about making a formal complaint here.

Please remember that not all health professionals are 'bad'. Like people, some are good and some are not so great at certain things. There is code of ethics that psychs are suppose to adhere to minimise poor practices. And there are people who get into these professions because they do genuinely care.

Don't loose hope, @hiddenite

[Jacques]

sorry Karen i posted but it was rejected,

i wish i was able to talk to you privately, please remember i do understand i do care.

i have the same thoughts and urges too, i have almost acted on them about 15 years ago, i came really close.  i do understand, sorry i don't think i can say much more.

[hiddenite]

Thats ok J. I get it. My last attempt was March.

I would hope oneday the stigma attached to suicide will be gone. So many lives would be saved.

J are you watching the tv or listening to music. I would like to sit with you awhile if thats ok.
Karen

[Jacques]

My angel you can sit with me anytime, yes listening to music, feeling sorry for myself, listening to sad music tonight.  looks like we both had a bad day.

yes i think you are right, not being able to talk about suicide does make things a lot worse, anyway i am here for you anytime you know that.

i know you and i willl hang in their for people who depend on us, you your girls, me my mother.

here is a nice warm sleeping bag, and hot water bottle, enjoy.

[hiddenite]

Thanks for the sleeping bag Jacques and hot water bottle.

Tomorrow is another day the sun will come up the rooster will wake you up too.

you are in my thoughts j rest up my friend.
Thanks for caring.
Karen