Lived Experience Forum

[Magpie2]

Hi. 

Is there anyone else who would be permitted or even encouraged to work from home, but just can't handle it?

I'm anxious as hell, after being pretty much free of anxiety/PTSD for a few years until March. 

Work lets me work from work, but my boss has made it really difficult, getting super picky about approving my hours in advance. (Fitting in full-time work without the part-time babysitter we had pre-Covid... just doesn't fit; people who are working from home are smiling about how much flexibility they get and how their supervisors don't care when they do their work, just that they do it.)
I've worked for years to get into this profession post-kids, and it's now likely that my contract won't be renewed in October, mostly due to anxiety affecting my work. So I need to be able to make myself work from home if that's what a new job requires, but I just can't stomach it. 

[Magpie2]

P.S. I'm sorry to/for all those who don't have work or who must work in a situation that places them at risk or in fear of the virus.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Magpie2 ,

I have been working from home since the first lockdown. For many, I guess it was the adrenaline and novelty which pulled us through during the first wave. However, I can really see the second wave has knocked so many. It is not longer a novelty. There is evidence of worker fatigue everywhere. Ive told many that we are no longer 'working from home', but rather, we are 'living at work'. The refuge of 'home' where we can sit back and relax at the end of the day is no longer there.

Through all this, I did have bouts of depression and anxiety, but have managed with adhering to the following:

- stick to work hours STRICTLY

- go for a quick walk around the block at least twice during work time.

- schedule in break times as 'protected time'

- outside work hours means laptop is off - no checking and responding to emails!

- eat at scheduled times 

- wind down towards the evening to ensure you have a good sleep

- live in the NOW. (Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow or at the end of your contract. Dedicate limited 'worry time' for this then lock these worries in a box)

- avoid listening to other people's grumblings about working from home

- enjoy your family

- SMILE!

 Of course you and I are different and possibly our jobs have different expectations, but the underlying concept of self-care is still there.

Look after yourself. It is not an easy time, but you can pull through if you maintain a separation between work and home.

BPDSurvivor

[TheVorticon]

Hi @Magpie2.
I've also been struggling with working from home, even though I've only had to do it half of the time. My reasons for struggling with it might be a bit different to yours (I tend to be a bit strange) but it's been hard hearing from most people saying how much more work they're getting done at home, how much they like doing it... Vs. me really having a hard time staying motivated or getting anything done, and feeling like I'm useless at my job as a result.
Luckily I've been able to go back to the office full time in the past couple of weeks. The only other thing that might have worked for me is to go rent a spot at a co-working space.

What are the main challenges you have around working from home?

[Magpie2]

Thank you both for your comments, it means a lot.
I guess I wasn't very clear: I basically haven't worked from home the whole time, but have worked from the office. My employer strongly discourages work from the office, but permits it on mental health or other grounds. There's no second time; this has been constant since March, despite zero cases in our area for months. I've switched my commute to entirely cycling (not bus) to reduce the risk of spreading cooties.
I have tried to work from home, but there are huge IT issues for those of us in the office that don't have work-supplied laptops. I need the bike ride for my mental health and would honestly be dead without it. I think part of it is that after a decade of mothering and part-time work (including some lovely social connections), working from the office is my connection with the workforce, respected work (yes I love and respect house/childcaring work, but I don't find it respected or fulfilling on its own), adult conversation. I cannot focus on work when I'm at home, even when the kids aren't around.
I have enjoyed doing some work from co-working spaces in the past, but find the nature of that research/my work difficult to deal with without colleagues who get it. It seems absurd though in terms of virus risk to be avoiding a predictable office and hiring (and paying for) co-working space.
There are a few nice people in the office but we're not colleagues (and a couple of senior people who are just snobs).
I don't know how much of this is anxiety or how much I can 'fix'. My long-time psych is kind of mean about it, telling me I should just be grateful that I'm even allowed to work from the office at all.
I guess the biggest thing is it's just so lonely either way.

[BPDSurvivor]

So good to hear back from you @Magpie2 where you are able to describe some of your challenges. 

What you are you feeling is very valid. Remember, humans are social beings. It is OK to want company - that's normal. If anything, those who prefer the isolation are probably the ones who we need to worry about. Leaving a hermit's life is more worrying than a social butterfly. 

Even looking back at evolution, it was 'togetherness' which enabled people to survive. Without being in a group, people would soon be devoured. This is why I honestly do you not think you are 'wrong' in any way by preferring to work outside home.

Home should be your refuge at the end of the day. 

It is great you are able to cycle to work. I wish I could do that. Please do not feel something is wrong because you can't handle working from home. From what I believe, this is actually quite healthy. I also can't wait to see people at work. I see them during online meetings, but this does not replace face-to-face contact. Nor does it replace social outings, coffees and Friday night dinners. Even after our stage four restrictions here, it will be some time before we can have the freedom of 'hanging out'.

@Magpie2 just hang in there for a little bit longer. I guess we can hang out here LOL.

BPDSurvivor

[frog]

Hi everyone

I just wanted to say I hear you @Magpie2 @TheVorticon re working from home and I get it.

I have no solutions, and have failed pretty spectacularly to manage it myself. Huge anxiety, inability to focus/concentrate, and a growing toxic situation with a family member. The whole COVID catastrophe is hard on most people, but for some it's layer upon layer.

I'm thinking of you.