Punny Puns UNITE! ‘Dad’ jokes are welcomed (along with any other parental guardians)

[DaeSayuki]

So I’m a lover of a good pun, ‘dad joke’, and the drier or more painful the joke the better.

*** Im sure there’s policies around references to discrimination so please refrain, as I hope to spread the love of a good pun.

To start…

1.

I went to buy coffee beans and asked them to grind it.
They asked “How fine a grind?”
I said “Fine”
They asked “Are you sure?”
I said “Yeah that’s … fine”
I made the cashier cry that day 😆

2.

Did you know mango has the highest sugar content out of all fruits?

It can really make a … man go.

3.

I went to pick up my niece from school. She apologise for being a bit late because she’s waiting for her friend.

I asked her “is your friend a bat?… because she’s hanging around.”

3.

My cousin went to get her arm pit hairs lasered off.

I asked her “how’s your pits? Are they … pitiful?”

4.

I bought eggs at the local market. The seller help me choose out of 10 + varieties and said “I hope you enjoy them”.

I said back “you would know since you’re the EGG-spert”

~ I hope the cringe was painful. Please bless me with more puns ~

[The-red-centaur]

When do those jokes become dad jokes???

When they become a-parent 

[rav3n]

i used to have a dad joke book hehe.

What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time no sea.

My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.

[DaeSayuki]

Puhahahahaha im gonna tell my parents hahahaha

[DaeSayuki]

KEKEKEKE I wish my manager would tell me this all the time hahahahah

[The-red-centaur]

So many puns. 

I just wanted to thank you for explaining 'many' to me, it means a lot. 

[Paralyzed]

Good morning, 

I thought I would have another look through the discussion threads, but I had to stop at this one and wanted to come and say hi. I love puns, dad jokes, and classic one-liners. I like to think I am a punny guy. 😂

I haven't read all the posts, so apologies if this one has already been posted, but here's my first post, and this could be the beginning of many posts to this thread.

Ever heard a joke about paper?

Never mind, its tear-able.

[Paralyzed]

Cracking me up with laughter LOL