Lived Experience Forum

[Ffm48]

Special consideration of for people who need it. Sometimes you can focus on one thing at a time day by day or even hour by hour. And sometimes it takes all you strength just to get out of bed, have a shower and do the most basic of chores. If you can't claim special consideration, then when?

I do agree with you, this forum is a blast. As helpful as regular counselling is, being able to spill, rant and rabe without fear of judgement and with absolute understanding is truly supportive. The past week would have been so much harder for me without that support.

Keep checking in @alyou3 and let us know how you go

[alyou3]

I feel like a failure by asking for help. Which, in the rational part of brain, I know is stupid. But anxious, overwhelmed, depressed me feels like it makes me a failure. That I've been so proudly counting down the days and weeks till I finish, even starting to organise things for graduation, only to now be in a position where this is very likely going to take me another 3-4 months all because I can't get my sh*t together to do what everyone else seems perfectly capable of doing 😞 

[utopia]

@alyou3. That's not your rational self talking. That's the deprdepression talking. When we are depressed - our negative self talk increases and then we find it hard to use our rational/logical side that say bull s***. But I've learnt how to do this. Look at what my negative self talk is saying & ask - is that reasonable - if it was a friend - would I say that.
Imagine that it is your girlfriend who has lived your life - your experiences. And is struggling with depression and self worth. You wouldn't tell her to just get over it or push through it. No - you would seek help for her.
Asking for help is a strong thing to do. Everyone needs help in something.
Imagine if you had diabetes or cancer - would you be pushing to finish Uni on time - or would you extend your course - so that you can focus on your health and getting better.
Depression is no different to any other illness. It can be treated. There is recovery for those who seek it.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve recovery. And when the time is right - you will finish your course and have a successful career. Why? Because you reached out and got help fir your health. Yiu are stronger than yourself tells you.

[alyou3]

I've just done to myself what I hate seeing other people do, treating mental illness like it's not a real and serious illness... wow

[utopia]

@alyou3. Don't be hard on yourself. It can be a shock when you realise that you have depression and need help.
Everyone reacts differently. Hopefully now you will contact your gp and ask for help.

[Ffm48]

How are you feeling today @alyou3?

[Little_Me]

Thank you so much for posting this discussion @alyou3, I found it really helpful for my situation as well. I can empathise completely with you! Don't worry too much about your uni course, it has taken me 13 years to get my undergrad done!!! I'm on my final subjects now and the end is in sight, yet here I am sabotaging it by procrastinating. This thread has made me realise that I've slipped back into depression again, which is why I am having so much trouble concentrating. Now I realise what it is, I know it's only temporary. So I will go easy on myself and ride it out. P's get the degree, right? 

Thank you again, I hope you get some clarity from this discussion like I did! 

[alyou3]

It's been a long tough dark week. The anxiety had my resting heart rate at 130-150 beats a minute. All I want to do is hide in bed and sleep. It's taken me a week to get out of bed for more than a couple of hours. Uni has been kind of understanding & supportive but also really unhelpful at the same time. They expect to just get my shit together and snap out of it overnight, that I'm just throwing myself a pity party and I'm staying in it on purpose. It's really exhausting to try and get people to understand that this isn't a damn choice, who would ever choose this!? Why would anyone want to feel so completely hopeless, helpless, empty and absolutely terrified of everything all the time?!? This is hard enough without having to constantly justify myself for feeling this way

[Kurra]

@alyou3

If you can get a letter from your GP confirming that you have depression I'm sure the uni will be more understanding.

Can you make an appointment with your GP this week? I'm sure you will find it helpful. I got a letter and it helped a lot. The uni gave me extra time to complete my work and they also gave me extra time to complete my exams.
I hope this helps you.

[alyou3]

I have been in close contact with my GP and he has sent the Uni 2 letters now and I'm still having to justify everything. So frustrating.