Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

@Sans911 Go gentle on you. I know you’d say the same to me. I could have written that a hundred times over on the forum in my time. You are not those things at all. I’m in awe of so much you do.

Its so so easy to get caught up with something’s here. I got myself in a knot over something on the forum for months last year. This year I have too, although it’s more about me this year and how to be on the forum in a healthy way. Note I don’t know yet how to but I’m trying more to find a way. 

So I reiterate that it’s complex here, sometimes more complex than in real life and I hope you find a way to forgive yourself. 

💜🤗

[outlander]

@Sans911 im hearing you and i know this is very distressing but try to take a breath. We all misread things and sometimes our emotions take over instead of our rational brain. You handled the situation the way you knew how to at the time and again tonight handling it the way you thought was best. In time im sure youll both be able to work it out but atm both of you are hurting and just need abit of time. It doesnt mean your a fk up at all.

[Sans911]

@Teej

I'm even worse in rl. I'm constantly getting into conflict even when I don't want to. I'm so devensive at the slightest slight.

The problem here (forums) is lack of privacy to discuss issues, our own complexities, and the lack of emotions through messages.

And I hate the fact I've hurt someone I respect and love as much as if I'd really known them.

[Sans911]

@outlander

@Teej

Can you both just sit with me for now? I might to also take more time out the forums for another few days

[outlander]

Yes sis, will sit with you @Sans911

[Faith-and-Hope]

Please be gentle with yourself @Sans911 ..... your forum sister cares so much about you.  She will take some time out, but we know how much you care about her too, and “misfires” happen here, with lack of voice tone to help convey meaning as gently as it might have been intended.

I wonder myself at times whether I have overstepped a mark, and if people have taken time out, or even left the forums, because of something I may have said with every good intent .... but for a bazillion possible reasons, they haven’t taken it that way .... or whether I was insensitive and didn’t notice cues that were obvious to everyone else, cos I’m a unicorn Phoenix with a different sort of brain .....

Breathe through tonight Hon, and let’s see what tomorrow brings .....

Blow a kiss towards Neptune and wait, is what I suggest.

[Sans911]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

Because I care so much about her, and I know she was doing a little better, it's like a double hurt to me, and makes me quite distressed.

[Teej]

And I hope @Zoe7 gets to read that too (sorry bit sneaky tagging her). We’ve all at times hurt others here I promise you that @Sans911. I’ve even someone been hurt by the most positive caring gorgeous @Faith-and-Hope before. 

And yes it is soooooooooooooo hard when you can only have the most vulnerable conversations with the whole forum especially as we become close to someone. I’ll share this with you. Before your time here I was much much more out of control. @Mazarita had a very personal and sensitive time for her around suicide. She tried to put some boundaries up around including her in suicide conversations. I knew that but I trampled over those boundaries with my impulsivity and really not thinking. The result was that Maz left the forum for about 7 months and I felt terrible when I understood my part in it. I most definitely never intended to hurt her and I carried that guilt for so long. She had helped me soooooo much up until then accept lots of things and was always kind and patient just like she is now. I will always be grateful that she forgave me when she came back. I learned lots from that. I still mess up lots but we learn from them (some of us more slowly than others, 🤔 not mentioning any names - Teej) 

This is hopefully a glitch for both of you that you’ll get passed quickly. I hope this helps. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Situations like this are distressing @Sans911, that’s no lie .... but we all live through them and build communication skills, tolerance, resilience and all those good things if we can sit through the painful and uncomfortable feelings and get to the other side .....

Breathe Hon .... and trust that it can be worked out gently, gently .....

[Teej]

@Sans911 I hope I haven’t put my foot in it with that post. I spent all that time writing and missed the responses. I can shut up about it now and just try to sit and not fix 😳💜😘