Looking after ourselves
When I was struggling after hubby's last crisis @Mrsjones I had lost my mojo and at times things that I used to find enjoyable felt more like a chore. As I took steps toward my own healing, moments of joy began to return, most of these as a result of persistence. Whilst at times it did feel like homework, I knew if I made the effort I would eventually be rewarded.
Hey @Jacques, we get that. We've both ended up on Centrelink DSP payments... really as "burnt out carers", but officially, that doesn't count as a reason. So you have to get so burnt out that you qualify for some other reason before help kicks in. 
We were trying really hard to be self supporting after time on parenting payment/recovering from a serious health emergency... then our Older Daughter when seriously downhill, plus other extended family unwell/ageing. It was hard having to give up our plans and preparations, but I was talking about this with a friend the other day, and concluded that we're on a payment that allows us to be available for others as they need it, alongside having "permission" to look after ourselves. Job search payments are less forgiving though. There badly needs to be more recognition of psychological factors and their effect on a person's life.
But yeah, there's plenty of people on assorted government payments who may not be contributing to the nation's cashflow, but are still contributing in other ways that are invaluable. And honestly @Jacques, I very much get the idea that you are one of those people, not the "other" sort.
Thank you for your amazing reflections @Smc @Mrsjones @Shaz51 @Jacques @Former-Member @Tay @Jay-e @Escaped_Goat 💚
I'm hearing that there are physical and practical barriers to self-care... not having the space or perhaps for some the time. You've also brought up beliefs that come up when we think about self care... not feeling worthy or that you need to be stoic to get through life. It is also a great point that self-care might feel like a chore or strange if that is not how we've learned to get through life.
But you've also mentioned how you can work with these barriers! As humans we are in a relationship with ourselves as well as others - sometimes we relate to ourselves with kindness and care, and sometimes this is hard.
What tools do you use to switch on that kindness towards yourself?
One tool I try to use to switch on that kindness is to imagine a friend in my position.... What would I say? Would I encourage them to get some rest, to go easy on themselves? We are often more compassionate to others than ourselves so this can be a strategy to switch on some self-compassion. What are your tools?
