@soul this is an incredibly difficult situation where it sounds like you are almost bullied into changing your perspective so it aligns with your partners. It is complicated by him holding perceptions or beliefs that were bordering on paranoia.
In situations such as these when someone is being volatile or aggressive it is always important to put your safety first, nothing is more important than that.
You arise an important point here though as being met with aggression of very common in conflict. Which brings us to a strategy...if one person is not in the right frame of mind and is angry, anxious, irritable or if things are escalating, this is an important indicator to put the discussion on pause. If someone is feeling emotional when discussing matters of conflict, they arent able to access the part of their brain that will allow them to rationally discuss the matter to come to a resolution. So it is important to take a break there and come back to it at another time when everyone is calm.
This can be easier said then done and sometimes depending on what is happening for the other person, an abrupt ending to the conversation may not be possible. However you can try to make clear the discuss is not a constructive one and it will be returned to at a later time. Sometimes going to another room or going for a walk, etc can be helpful here.
Does anyone have any strategies they use when things escalate during conflict?
