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Re: Darkness

i did @Lee82 its just above. the notification mightnt have come through

i havent got them tonight but i have them tomorrow, thursday, saturday and unsure about friday just yet but possible friday as well

Lee82
Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't get that notification. Well I'm glad you have tonight off hun. How you feeling now? 
@outlander 

Re: Darkness

thats ok @Lee82 no worries

still the same. always feeling pressure in some aspect of my life i guess. just wearing out from it. now i just seem to sigh alot because i dont have words or cant be bothered talking to anyone.
Lee82
Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

I get that babe. I know how sometimes you just don't have the words anymore to describe what you are feeling. That repeating yourself all the time gets tiring and you just want it all fixed and better. 
being in pain is frustrating and annoying. I am so sorry you have to go through it everyday. Wish I could take it all away for you hun. 
@outlander 

 

Re: Darkness

thanks @Lee82
i totally understand why people just answer 'im fine' to anyone who asks even if they arent fine. its often easier to just say that and put the mask on then to take it off and show what your actually feeling. it is tiring.
ive been dissociating quite abit lately too even when im driving so im having to be careful all the time and really focus on everything im doing
Lee82
Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

That's not good hun especially when you are driving. I have had those moments when I can't remember how I got to a certain place or can't remember the drive at all. 
it is definitely easier to say your are fine most of the time. I say that to mum every single day. Just can't be bothered explaining myself all the time and most of the time it's just the same feelings and most of the time no one in my life truly understands beside everyone here on the forum. It is a very lonely life. 
@outlander 

Re: Darkness

i think its just because im tired or overwhelmed constantly its my brains way of coping. its just not helpful when driving. ive been able to able to catch it abit early just in the spacey headspinny start of it . @Lee82

yeah not many get it here either and i cant open my mouth otherwise im attention seeking etc. if my sisters are having issues its the end of the world. when my littlest sister was having a hard time at school with a bully, it was blamed on me because i should listen more and then mum went on sharing all the lifeline numbers and shite. i cant even breathe here but no one sees it or if they do they ignore it. its quite sad really. i dont really want to get into it though because it upsets me and everyone here talking about my family situation.
i watch everyone around me interacting with friends but i barely get a hello unless they want something. even at the horses today, 2 clients were there and i said hello but i had my hands full so had to keep walking before i dropped everything but didnt even get a hello back, they walked away to the other side of the car.
Lee82
Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

It's not right and it's not fair but we don't have to get into it right now because I don't want to upset you anymore than you already are hun. Just know that you are cared about here, you are loved here and we all hear you and see you (figuratively speaking) loud and clear. We enjoy your company and want to help you and keep you company as much as we can. You are a special person hun with a heart of gold. 
I truly enjoy chatting with you 💗

@outlander 

Re: Darkness

thanks @Lee82 Heart
i am lucky to have you and my friends here.
Lee82
Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

I am so glad I found this forum. It has helped me so much. Getting to know everyone and getting support from people who understand has been amazing. 
@outlander 

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