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beaten
Casual Contributor

Where do i go from here

Hello Guys

Im back because iv had enough

My daughters drinking has not subsided she buys a bottle of anything and skulls it to unconsciousness and these bouts can last for days when my wife and I are not at home, if we go away for any amount of time shes pissed the whole time we are away. She is getting very violent to the point we called the police on one occasion and she has had to be hospitalized many many times. When shes normal shes such a sweet loving person but on occasions when sober she will talk about someone she knows or has read about and say what an idiot how could anyone be so stupid when shes doing far stupider things than them, im sure shes putting one over her doctor with lie after lie. She keeps telling me that shes over 18 and I cant make her do anything she doesnt want to do.

Shes had a partner for the last 5 months who is a very nice caring person and a good bloke .I know shes belted into him a few times when pissed and hes just about had enough of her

I have got absolutely nowhere with my daughters GP as a matter of fact she still hasn't even seen a psychiatrist and the only medication he has prescribed for her are antidepressants which im sure she doesn't take. He said he would like a psychiatrist to see her and take her medication from there but she has been knocked back from a couple of mental health clinics already.

So what do I do and where do I go, she doesn't think shes got a problem its everyone else that's the problem. So do I take out a second mortgage on the house to get money to pay for help, where do I go, she needs mental help as well as help for the alcohol abuse.

Can anyone recommend a rehab farm or anything, I cant put up with this much longer and the last thing i want to do is kick her out into the street but its heading that way.

Also she had two goes at Dayhab a couple years ago but that was a waste of time as I don't think they went into the mental side of things

Thank you for reading my problems and any advice is appreciated

 

Thank you

 

 

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Where do i go from here

Hi @beaten,

Welcome to the Forums and thanks for your post - that really sounds like such a stressful situation to be in. There are quite a few members here on the Forums who have had similar experiences caring for children with both D&A and mental health issues. You might like to check out a few of these threads for some ideas of what others have tried for help, and perhaps some of the users I've tagged have some helpful suggestions:

Also, a few of the services below might be able to provide some relevant support:

Thanks again for your post – we hope you can find the help you need here on the Forums.  

All the best,
supernova.

Re: Where do i go from here

Thank you so much supernova

 

I have spoken to her today and she admits to me she needs help but who knows with the continual lies, shes probably saying this to keep me happy, anyway I have made an appointment with her doctor today to explain the situation as I think shes been filling him with utter rot as butter wouldn't melt in her mouth when she wants to turn it on.

Thank you again supernova, hopefully today I might get something happening

beaten

Re: Where do i go from here

Hi there @beaten

I hope your appointment went well with the doctor and you were able to go through some things to outline how your daughter really isn't coping, how are you feeling after it?

It really does sound as though getting to the source of why she is drinking is more helpful as you said that she has tried dayhab and other things but they have not worked, would she be interested in Alcoholics Anonymous, some people find this extremely helpful.

Also make sure you are getting some support to help cope with all of this, it won't be helpful if you are burnt out so I hope there is someone you are able to talk to about all of this as well as getting some time out from it. It's great you are on the forums for that extra support too, she is so lucky to have you looking after her.

Lunar 🙂

 

Re: Where do i go from here

Thank you so much Lunar

I didn't really get to explain the extent on how things are as he spent half the time looking for a mental health pamphlet that was buried under heaps of paper work (I understand how that can happen)that he had gotten in relation to her. The doctor has written a referral to an other specialist so hopefully we will get some action soon, he wasn't to happy about the other two referrals that were knocked back, so now we are waiting to hear back. Soon I hope !!!

 

Thanking you all

Re: Where do i go from here

Things took a turn for the worst today my wife rang me to tell me to get home quick. I walked in the door and my daughter had scratched my wife's face in several places and she was bl**ding.

My daughter was suppose to be going away with her boyfriend for the weekend which I didn't think was a good idea at all. The boyfriend arrived and not long after she was belting into him, my wife tried to restrain her so he could get away, she had been drinking. She hadnt had a drink all week and acted as a normal human being

I rang the mental clinic where the doctor sent the referral and told them of the situation and have now got an appointment for later this month. We and her don't have private health insurance so the costs are going to be interesting to say the least but we gotta do what we gotta do and I don't think her health care card is worth much at a private hospital hahaSmiley Embarassed

We have told the boyfriend to stay away and not to contact her at all (poor bugger hes a very nice bloke)

So now we have the agonising 2 week wait to get things under way.

Its going to be a long 2 weeks

 

Thanking you

 

PS-: shes just woken up and eveything is my fault and I hate her boyfriend

Re: Where do i go from here

Its been an interesting month and a half to say the least.

My daughter has been assessed with I don't know what because the psychiatrists said she didn't have BPD but said she needed DBT counseling and because of our ridiculous laws I'm told nothing. I just make the appointments, take her to the appointments and pay for the appointments yet I'm told nothing.

Shes had two meet and greet appointments and one DBT counseling appointment which she has been drunk since we got home from three days ago.

I'm now looking into rehab that focuses on the alcohol and the DB therapy at the same time.
Not knowing if inpatient rehab is the right way to go I'm hoping some of you here can me help with past experiences with inpatient rehab or knowledge of trying to treat both problems at the same time.

Thanking you

beatenMan Sad

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Where do i go from here

Nice to hear from you. Yes as your daughter is over 18 there are privacy laws ect. to take into account. I think it is a good move to tell the boyfriend to move on so she can focus on getting herself better. Keep hanging in there.
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