Lived Experience Forum

[Judi9877]

Hi there @Rhye
Nice to meet you! Thanks for the great compliment on my blanket! It’s very much appreciated! I’ve been knitting since my deceased mother taught me when I was a child and I remember 1 of my first ever favourite projects knitted being a Cabbage Patch Kid jumper for 1 of my dolls back in the late 1980s with Mum doing the hard bits like the neck. I’m now 44 so it’s at least over 30 years since I’ve been knitting with a lot of it being from when I was 25 and got properly diagnosed with my mental illnesses at Uni whereby I knitted a jumper for myself from Bendigo Woollen Mills wool that an old teacher friend helped me knit. I now knit for charity as well as myself with my Mental Health Recovery Blanket being one of my favourite projects as it means so much to me with what I’ve been through and continue to go through.

I hope to see you around the forums!
Judi9877

[Judi9877]

Hi @Shaz51
Nice to know that we have similar things in common! My mum was a big cooking lover and was always cooking us biscuits and slices in a Saturday afternoon for school and snacks except she always said the stove was dangerous and never really showed me how to cook. The only real experience in cooking I got besides the Hone Economics classes in years 7 & 8 at high school was when she died and I learnt how to cook basic things for myself like spag bol, beef stroganoff and cooking stir fries and fried rice. I’m so lucky I know how to master a microwave because I love mixing brown rice in 90 seconds with things like corn, tuna, capsicum and champignons as an easy meal ! I’m not really a fan of cooking but love the people who can connect with food and cook things like roasts for example.
It’s like you d add no knitting in that way I guess!

Take care forumite!
Judi9877

[HenryX]

Hello @Judi9877 

Thank you so much for your note. I have been aware of your situation from your posts on the forum and very much appreciate your responses.

If you enjoy or find value in what I offer, I am very pleased. There is definitely no expectation on my part. But certainly pleasure if I know that what I've offered is appreciated and useful

Thank you and best wishes for the activities in which you are involved. I enjoy reading your messages and posts

Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[BlueBay]

Hi @BPDSurvivor  

great question. 
I think for me it's a bit of both. When I sewed the eye pillows I was excited to start snd then see the end product. 
wuth the knitted headbands I enjoy the process of knitting as it's calming. 

another thing I have problems with is that when I think of projects that I could start I get  so excited and plan it all. What I need, how much etc etc.   and I'm on a littke high.   then after a little while I stop right bsvk down to zero where I don't believe those ideas are good, I negate it straightaway. I ditch that plan and then spiral down to nothing. 
for eg - I have about 12 knitted headbands, a few glass jars of bath salts and about 20 lavender eye pillows and about 20 scrunchies. 
I don't know how to set it up online. Kids are busy snd won't show me.  Get frustrated myself snd just forget the whole idea of this plan. 
then it all seems too hard so I give up.

it's a vicious cycle. 

gee I think I ranted a bit more than just a simple answer @BPDSurvivor !!! 

[Rhye]

That's a really interesting question @BPDSurvivor and one I had to stop and think about. I'm with you, in that I think I'm generally more a goal oriented person, however when it comes to something like knitting it is more about the process...it has a meditative and calming effect for me. 

I'll be keen to see how you categorise yourself @BlueBay in terms of goals or process. Maybe we can be both? 

[Rhye]

Hi @Judi9877 

It's lovely to meet you too. I've recently joined SANE as a peer support worker so you'll see more of me around these parts, no doubt 

That is probably the coolest thing I can imagine to have knitted as your first project – Cabbage Patch Kids were THE best back in the 80's. I would have loved to have been able to knit my CPK a cool vest or jacket  I'm going to have to Google the Bendigo Mills wool, it sounds quite special.

Rhye

[Rhye]

@Shaz51 Thank goodness for our grandmothers! My mother was good at cooking one thing, and that one thing was chocolate cake 

Do you have a favourite meal to cook? 

[BPDSurvivor]

Great reflections @BlueBay and @Rhye .

I'm a minimalist. I hate having 'stuff' around that I'm not using. Hence, if I make products, they have to be useful, otherwise I don't bother making them..

Currently, I'm still doing watercolour painting lessons. I love doing it, but get annoyed because then I have paintings lying around that I don't want. This is what stops me from painting etc.

So, i remain to be goal-focused. Perhaps overtime, I'll change. Who knows?

But @Rhye and @BlueBay , it's good you can do both.

[Judi9877]

Hi @BPDSurvivor @Rhye @BlueBay @HenryX @Shaz51 @Daisydreamer and all forumites here! I hope you are travelling well. What's going on in the life and adventures of BPD? Anything exciting? I look forward to reading your posts! 

**Potential TW ahead!**

As for me, I've been feeling a little stressed with uni and life at the moment, not to mention having the voice back last night to add to my mix of emotions (I'm uncertain whether or not to tell my psychologist on Saturday about this as well as the fact I've had several previous days/nights of feeling suicidal as well which caused him to call me last Saturday night to check in on me) but I'm okay at the moment so please don't stress about me. I'm safe and I'm in an okay state of mind to the point where I've been back to my usual coping strategy of knitting beanies for 3 PARCS workers. I told them I'd each knit them one as they were so supportive of my hobby whilst I was at PARCS and knew that it helped calm me down when I was triggered by people and their actions and behaviours. It centred me and I liked that I could focus on the pattern and forget about them and the issues while still being creative and productive at the same time. See below for the photo of the beanies. Each of the beanies are unique to the individual workers who I chose colours and patterns for to represent their individual styles and tastes. I'll send the beanies to them when I get my Mental Health Recovery Blanket completed and send a photo of the completed blanket to them as I was knitting that as well at PARCS which they were aware of and encouraged me to work on while I was there as well.

Today, I started a new beanie for charity with the idea that I'll keep some supplies in a bag and knit a beanie whenever I feel like it, such as if I'm stressed or bored with one of my current projects and I'll eventually donate them next year to the charity as part of their winter collection for people who need them. It's fun and relaxing and helps me mentally as well which is a positive sign in all of my turmoil of mental health that I experience.

Take care and enjoy the rest of Thursday night whatever you may be doing. For me, that means knitting the beanie and procrastinating about a uni assessment task due next week!

Judi9877☺️🧶🌻

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Judi9877 ,

I'm waiting for your photo, and looking forward to seeing it.

I'm still in ISO. My poor kids at school... the school was only opened for 3 days and it's closed already because of a COVID case. The younger children were devasted and just cried and cried. They are so desperate to go back to school My heart breaks for them.

As for my BPD world... hrm... I've had a few thoughts lately:

On Tuesday, we had Topic Tuesday surrounding advocacy. Here's there link if you want to read about it Topic Tuesday // Tools for Advocacy // Tues 19th October, 7:00-8:30PM AEDT 

In my BPD world, I'm questioning why I advocate for so many things - is it the passionate side that comes with being someone diagnosed with BPD?

I am often told to 'Just leave it'. But I honestly can't! If something is NOT fair, I will keep fighting for the right. In some cases, when people with disability are discriminated against, I certainly fight for it. But if a cafe doesn't get my takeaway correct, should I bother fighting for it? Or should I just eat what I hadn't ordered? 

Where do you draw the line?

I feel like a cow sometimes, just trying to 'get my own way'... 

Should I just leave things? What are your thoughts fellow-friends? Am I too 'full-on' with my advocacy?

Please share if you have similar experiences. Hopefully, I won't feel so alone.

BPDSurvivor

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