Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Boo13]

Hi,

I am new to Sane and was wondering if there were any other parents/guardians who have a teenager with psychotic depression?  I'm looking to reach out to someone who understands the complexities of adolescence, treatment and psychotic episodes so that we can share support and tips.  There are no support groups where I live for this type of illness.

Look forward to hearing from you!

[NikNik]

Hi @Boo13

I'm so sorry you haven't recieved a response yet! I have moved your post to a new area, which will be more visible to other members.

Nik

[Boo13]

Thank you Nik Nik.  Despite best efforts and a supportive husband and friends, I feel exhausted physically and mentally dealing with the unknown on a daily basis and not knowing what to expect.  I feel on edge all the time. My own psychologist says I am in survival mode.  

I get frustrated and try so hard to understand what is happening to my son and cope with the changes in his personality.  Where did my little boy go?  I feel that any dreams and hopes that I had for him are gone forever and sometimes can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.  At other times I question whether he is even sick at all or just being a manipulative teenager.  I feel terrible when I think like that.  I love him dearly and just want him well.

[Appleblossom]

Teens are well known to be the most difficult to parent.

My situation is a little different & a bit similar.

If the depression is psychotic then its more serious than just manipulation (which will include unconscious aspects).

Yet there are probably aspects and behaviours that would fall into that category.  It takes a lot of discernment to figure that out and its best you alone make the call, but dont do it in a haphazard way, maybe target one behaviour, when you feel certain.

It also helps to have some GOOD bonding moments, without them I could not call him out on other things.

After years of walking on egg shells for my son but also him on egg shells for me ... I am feeling some level of reasonableness and support. 

Use what ever support your psych can offer.

I hope he can use whatever services are on offer for him.  For us my son has little faith in the system, so its often up to me get what I can and then use it to help him.  Does that make any sense??

Sorry there have not been many replies.  Good Luck @Boo13

[Pebbles]

Hi @Boo13, welcome to the forum. It's always great to welcome new members. I hope you can find the support and connections you are looking for. 

@Exhausted1 talks about their children in No ending in sight which may be of interest to you. 

Headspace offer a range of information sheets on their webiste around family and friends supporting young people and Kids Helpline I wondered if there was something there that might catch your eye.

Please feel welcome to contact the Sane Help Centre on 1800 187 263, M-F 9am-5pm if you'd like to speak with somone. 

Take Care,

Pebbles. 

[Boo13]

Thank you so much for your support.  Through the Sane forum, I am beginning to finally see that we are not alone and that there are so many other carers out there.  The mutual respect, understanding and support is a credit to all.  Although many of us give so much to our loved ones and are exhausted in the process, it is amazing that so many people have energy to reach out to others in similar situations.  You are all very special people.

My son is looking at further admissions to hospital.  His new treating team at CAHMS have been fantastic.  They are a new specialist team who show genuine concern and care and are willing to go that extra step to help.  They recognise that we haven't got the medications right yet and my son is suicidal everyday.  His voices tell him to harm himself or others and this frightens him.  More recently, they changed his medication to the point that he was completely numb.  He said this was worse than the voices.  I wake up every morning not knowing whether he will be able to go to school and if he will make it through the day.  My husband and I share the responsibility of care, however I feel guilty if I can't be around for my son.  I have a very good job that I enjoy very much.  My boss is terrific and very understanding that  I often need to take time off or work from home, however I can't help feeling like I am letting my colleagues and staff down.  A tough call when you are torn and care about so many things.

i hope that my experiences make me stronger and that one day I will be able to offer hope and support to someone else on this forum.

[Amour_Et_Psyché]

Hi @Boo13 🙂

Thank you of behalf of all of us here at the SANE Forums! Your words of appreciation are both touching and humbling. You are right - we have a bunch of beautiful, supportive and special people here. An amazing community to be a part of that, makes you feel as if you are not alone in your struggles.

I am so glad that the treating team at CAHMS have been wonderful and genuinely caring and supportive. It is also wonderful that your boss is so flexible and understanding. However, I can imagine that one would feel torn between such responsibilities. Hang in there, and as you know, the forum community is always here when you need! 

I can imagine you would be a wonderful support to others here on the forum. But give yourself the permission to take time before you do so, if that is what you need! 

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[Exhausted1]

@Amour_Et_Psyché@Boo13@Appleblossom@NikNik

Hi Boo13, It sounds like you are tired and feeling overwhelmed but you are doing an amazing job.

I haven't dealt with psychosis before but I have 2 sons that have MI one BPD and one Bipolar 2 but recently diagnosed BPD as well. I can understand that feeling of seeing what was your baby that you have massive hopes and dreams for turning into someone you dont know. It's frightening, you would do anything to take that on yourself and spare them the pain, they look to you like you should be able to fix everything. On the other side you feel guilt for wanting time away and for feeling angry and wanting a 'normal' life. Its not an easy juggle but time away is a must.

I hear you when you say you are in survival mode, I too have been for years - so said my psychologist, and its a scary place to be. The flight or fight syndrome being activated for years is not healthy so please take that time out and also provide that for your husband too, you both need de-stress as it can be a long road. The tunnel may seem really dark and never ending but it all changes along the way.  You have CAHMS and that's brilliant, use every resource you can, getting him help this early on is the best thing you could have done - so well done to you!

My thoughts are with you...